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The Stories Issue

Vice Pictures - Photo Stories With Jaimie Warren
Jaimie, what was your Fourth of July like this year?
Jaimie Warren
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

The First Annual Story Awards - Heavy Shit
This must have been about 25 years ago. I was 18 and I was getting wasted with my born-again Christian pal and my Nazi skinhead pal. We had been drinking Labatt 50 all day and doing MDA (an early version of E).
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

The First Annual Story Awards - Ewww!!
I was 19 and living in a glorified toilet block with two mates-Liam who didn't really live with us but kept his mattress in the lounge and paid rent sometimes, and Big Ben who was the complete opposite: A giant hermit with a surly disposition.
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Powerhouse Drunk
U have good locations for do's and don't's,but u should take powerhouse off of bar list as a hollywood hipster bought it,and changed it around.
Johnny Knoxville
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Grimewatch
You should all be happy to know that Scorcher, the finest MC the grime scene has ever produced (in our opinion) has been released from jail and is currently on road working on his debut album.
Clarence Stately-Holmes
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Montreal Suicide
Alex Macalister was this overeducated ponce that we used to hang out with in Montreal. He was a good guy and really funny but he talked like a Lord Byronesque version of Ignatius J Reilly.
Kevin Riley
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Records
An overfed and under-talented party tart clumsily deconstructing gender dynamics is as threatening to the mainstream as Weird Al doing a Toby Keith parody—and certainly far less entertaining.
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Tidbits
Every month we get at least three of these things. What do you want us to do? Make a joke about kids doing crack? Kids do crack all the time.
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

Tell Us About Your First Time
I fucked my best friend and it was so bad. He was in there for like one second. Barely anything. He stuck the tip in and started crying and went limp. Then he told me that the only reason I got with him was because I was "shallow and horny."
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

I Want My Dvds
We did it again. First there was SCTV, then Kids in the Hall, then Nardwuar, then Trailer Park Boys, then Fubar, and now there’s Kenny vs. Spenny, two Canadian roommates competing solely for the joy of humiliating the loser.
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

The First Annual Story Awards - Wtf?!?
When I broke up with my boyfriend I was left tenderhearted and frail. He cheated on me with some fat bitch and it seemed as though our relationship had run its course. On the upside, I had lost so much weight that my favorite bikini now fit me.
VICE Staff
8.1.06
The Stories Issue

The First Annual Story Awards - Rock And Roll
I was leaving Portland’s premier venue when the saxophonist from local cabaret-rock act muttered some cheeky little remark to me. I dropped the nut on him, knocking his two front teeth out and leaving him unable to play his instrument, for which I am...
VICE Staff
8.1.06
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