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The Food Issue

Literary/I Want My DVDs
Some of the worst books ever written are those by “former” gangsters or football hooligans about their shitty, pointless lives.
JACK STEEL, ANITA CRAPPER, PRINCE NAZ, BARRY NORMA
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Eat Shit
Stop the presses. “This just in: Weird shit eaten in Asia!” an editor cried, reacting to more coverage of fried-tarantula consumption coming over the wires.
Boo Calhoun
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Vice Fashion - Sausage Eating Contest
Officially sausages are made from a mixture of beef and pork with fancy herbs. What’s not on the packets are; Sodium Nitrate which gives you cancer or the ‘casings’ that are made out of pigs’ intestines.
Caroline Leszczinski
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Steak As Fuck You
Bon vivant/savant genius Chris Lombardi and I recently ate preposterous and stupefying steak in Tokyo. The restaurant, Aragawa, is on the basement floor of an unassuming late-60s apartment building. There's just a tiny food court with two pretty sad...
VICE Staff
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Bag Of Shite
Our UK intern Jack smells funny. It's not because he doesn't shower or anything, it's because he rides one of the dirtiest buses in the whole of London every day.
Anita Crapper
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Fat Camp Mem'ries
When I was 14 I went to fat camp. It was completely voluntary. The only problem was that I wanted to go to Camp Shane, a famous fat camp in the Catskills that has a great reputation.
Kelly Amner
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Whose Farts Smell Worse?
We hired a male model from the internet and got two girls who work in porn to fart on his face twice. They did this once while wearing jeans and once while wearing skimpy porno underwear.
Anita Crapper
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Illegalize It!
Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It’s disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone’s skull.
Fred Armisen
3.1.06
The Food Issue

National Front Soup Kitchen
Roger Bonnivard runs a bird shop in a popular paris neighborhood. Roger loves his pets, and he also loves people. He was a militant for the MNR (National Front dissident party) when he founded the SDF association.
Mathieu Berenholc
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Eat Dirt
What was your New Year's resolution this year-to cut down on chocolate? Big deal! Some poor souls had to resolve to stop eating stuff like dirt, glue, and paint.
Shelley X
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Vice Mail
I’ve been saying for years that you assholes just sit around your house and pull your stories from the internet—thanks for getting careless and proving me fucking right.
VICE Staff
3.1.06
The Food Issue

Hate Cuisine
For all their fancy gigs at the Albert Hall, Mogwai also do a pretty good job at grassroots A&R-ing with their Rock Action label. A few years ago they had this great band from Liverpool called Kling Klang that sounded like Kraftwerk and Goblin.
VICE Staff
3.1.06
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