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Manchester United Have Literally Written Off Bastian Schweinsteiger

Manchester United think so little of Bastien Schweinsteiger they are looking to write him off their accounting books.

Late last month, the German national soccer team honored its long-time captain and midfield stalwart Bastian Schweinsteiger as the 32-year-old quit Die Mannschaft after a 2014 World Cup title, third-place finishes at the 2006 and 2010 World Cups, and a silver medal at Euro 2008.

On Monday, his club Manchester United did the opposite, delivering a swift and public kick to the groin to one of Germany's best-ever midfielders. In the disclosure of its financial statements to club shareholders, it quite literally wrote Schweinsteiger off.

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"Exceptional costs for the year were £15.1m," United wrote, per the Guardian, "of which £8.4m related to compensation to the former manager and certain members of the coaching staff for loss of office and £6.7m related to a registrations' impairment charge regarding a reduction in the carrying value of a player no longer considered to be a member of the first team playing squad."

That "former manager" would be Louis van Gaal, who was fired after last season and whose contract had to be bought out, along with those of several of his staff members. But that "player no longer considered to be a member of the first team playing squad" is Schweinsteiger, who is still very much at the club and still absolutely available to play. He is neither injured nor retired. Yet United has written his ostensible market value off as a loss.

Because by the time Germany waved him off, newish Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho had already told the world that he no longer had any use for Schweini—whose name still literally translates to "Pigmounter," which would be heavy-handed even on Game of Thrones.

In his first and only other season at Old Trafford, the one-time metronome had already been found out. It was plain to see why Bayern Munich had been willing to let a club icon go for a transfer fee of just 9 million euros—about £6.7m, hence United's write-off—even though he was only 30 at the time and had served the club loyally in 13 first-team campaigns. Most players are still in their prime at 30, albeit towards the end of it. Schweinsteiger, however, clearly can no longer move the way he once did.

Van Gaal deployed him just 18 times in the league. And Mourinho, who may well have an actual physical allergy to players who can't shift their ass about the midfield, didn't even entertain the idea of putting him in his team, instead condemning him to the embarrassment of having to practice with the youth team. He didn't register Schweinsteiger for his UEFA Europa League squad and presumably only put him on his squad list for the Premier League because some rule obligated him to.

Schweini has refused to leave the club though, likely because he would have had to settle for a much less prestigious employer and a big paycut. He has almost two seasons left on his United contract but is expected to sign in Major League Soccer or somewhere else away from Europe in the coming year or so.

It's not uncommon to dump an unwanted player who refuses to leave into the youth team, in an attempt to shame the squatter into vacating the premise. But to write him off the books entirely, as if he doesn't even exist anymore?

That's cold.