I'm a music writer by vocation but if it wasn't extremely obvious already, I'm also a trained musician. I am no virtuoso, but I know my way around a few chords (loser says "G#m7add13") and I figured that there was no better way to demonstrate my knowledge than to play trap music for dogs. Animals are more in tune with certain frequencies with humans (one of the many ways they're superior to us) but I had to know: would my piano facsimiles of the 808 pound and gothic Sylenth melodies of the current Atlanta sound ease the hearts of these beasts?
So, Roland synth in hand and with a few willing(?) canines as my audience, I sought to answer this question and others using the song of the decade, Migos' "Bad and Boujee." Was Donald Glover right about the sex stuff? What would the dogs think about being shouted out in Offset's verse? How does one even transcribe "OFFSET! WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!" into sheet music? Watch the video log below, blessed and most likely confused Noisey reader, and find out.
You can find Phil's album 'Switched-Off Zaytoven' in stores never. He's on Twitter.