Pete Rose Writes Letter to Cooperstown in Effort to Circumvent MLB-Imposed Hall Ban

Pete Rose isn't just your canasta-loving Bubbe, he's also a guy who used to be very good at hitting baseballs. And gambling on other men who were hitting baseballs!

Of course, that was all a long time ago, and things have changed for Charlie Hustle…sort of. Now he's trying get into the Hall-of-Fame without the blessing of Major League Baseball, as opposed to his former reinstatement-first campaign strategy.

Yahoo Sports obtained a seven-page letter written (autographed) by Pete Rose to HOF president Jeff Idelson—he of the great unwritten Jay Z lyric, "I'm not an idle son, I'm an idol, son—asking that he reconsider the bylaws for future ballot inclusion. The details are boring, but in a nutshell, Rose really wants a plaque in Cooperstown and he's not afraid to lawyer up to make it happen. Boiled down, here is the case from Rose's legal team as reported by Tim Brown:

"'… No one associated with the game other than Pete has ever been categorically denied eligibility from day one after the conclusion of his career for actions having nothing to do with the way they played baseball.'

They note the case of 'Shoeless' Joe Jackson, who was banned for life in 1921 and appeared on subsequent Hall of Fame ballots.

[Rose] is not asking to be enshrined. He is asking for the Hall to allow for him to be considered by the BBWAA, as all players before him have."

Say it ain't so, Joe! Please, somebody say this isn't going to happen, Pete Rose suing goddamn Cooperstown to get his name on a wall. Let's break this case down to its two key elements:

• The Hall-of-Fame is stupid
• Pete Rose is also stupid

I previously stated my case on why the HOF sucks here at VICE Sports, but is it worse than Rose himself? Call it a toss-up. He is, after all, a dude who in 1970, ruined Ray Fosse's career by steamrolling him in an All-Star game, and subsequently used the cheap shot to burnish the self-aggrandized "one true hard-nose" version of himself to sell tacky crap. It's the same bullshit Rose peddled some forty-five years later, when threw a public conniption about how he, not Ichiro, is the true "Hit King." He went so far as to tell USA Today the Japanese are trying to turn him into the "Hit Queen." (If the granny glasses fit…)

In truth, no matter if Pete Rose is the kind of guy you can pay to eat a Las Vegas steak with, he should be in Cooperstown with all the other reprobates. If the MLB won't reinstate him, and the Hall wants to hedge its bets like Charlie Hustle during the NCAA Tournament, then there should be a compromise to avoid turning his golden years into the lamest Franklin & Bash episode of all time. Let him in to get his bronze plaque. Just keep it elsewhere, like say the closest bathroom facility.

The Hall of Fame has not received the letter from Pete Rose's attorneys, according to an official. Sent to the media first, I guess.
— Zach Buchanan (@ZachENQ) September 28, 2016

Ladies and gentlemen, for eternity: Pete Rose, Shit King.