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Shit We Googled This Week, Kia Spectra Edition

What do any of us know, really?

by Noisey Staff
Apr 26 2014, 5:33pm

We see how you could easily fall into the trap of believing that all the brilliant jokes and trenchant opinions we offer on here are simply the product of our encyclopedic minds whirring away at full speed, but the truth is that we rely on the sheer algorithmic power of Google quite a bit. This week we mostly Googled Cliven Bundy because we could not get enough of the shitshow that that guy has to offer (i.e. the hilarious right-wing backpedaling once their ideological champion turned out to be super racist). Or we were marveling at Tyga's incredible Instagram. But we also Googled a lot of incredibly normal shit, like the Kia Spectra, which is possibly the most boring car in the world. Can you ever imagine telling someone you drive a Kia and them being impressed? Like, a Ford Focus, that shows you still buy American. A Honda Civic says you value quality. A Kia, well, who knows? Without further ado, here's a week's worth of other "who knows" moments:

Dan Ozzi, Editor

sfw porn
billy madison eric drinks his own pee
tramp stamp on men
kia spectra
preston can't hardly wait
smile dentist north 8th
Brogue Rangers
rold gold pretzels

Dan Ozzi is watching so much porn of people with their clothes on right now. Also, seriously, does anyone know some good demeaning names for lower back tattoos on men? This is a category that deserves its own type of scorn.

Eric Sundermann, Managing Editor

i be u lyrics
stone cold
best stunner
terry richardson sucks
seinfeld cafe
seinfeld table
seinfeld pilot
young seinfeld
i be u lyrics
i be u lyrics
reasons why it's impossible to get laid on tour

Via AZlyrics, here is the apparently impossible-to-remember hook of "I Be U": "I'll be there I'll be there I'll be/I'll be there I'll be there I'll be/I'll be you baby I'll be you baby I'll be you/And I might came through, what you do/But I'll be I said I'll be there." Anyway, Imagen Seinfeld still on TV.

Drew Millard, Features Editor

phil jackson got fat
film history
kane the demon
hood by air
khloe kardashian got pregnant by french montana
mr cheeks

Drew follows Phil Jackson's weight closely, but otherwise he knows nothing about sports. He also follows Khloe Kardashian and French Montana closely, but otherwise he knows nothing about how babies are made.

Kim Taylor Bennett, Style Editor

Motherfucker never loved us
Cinema paradiso
Clarity lyrics
Nowness Kate Moss Topshop
Tom Vek
Who is Sherman
Green Wood Cemetery
Jeepney filo
Roosevelt island asylum

Via AZLyrics, here are is the bridge and hook of "Clarity": "Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need/Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why/If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?/If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?/(Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey)/If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?/If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

Kyle Kramer, Guest Editor

donald sterling
noisey instagram
snapchat ceo
synonym for eye
bands that have sacrificed cows onstage
binary to text converter
supa dupa fly album
gang starr discography
sasquatch festival
kanye photoshopped himself
tyga instagram
kanye wedding versailles
we dem boyz
covered n money lyrics

If you see a band sacrifice a cow onstage, please send Kyle a Snapchat. For now, he'll be alternating between listening to "Covered N Money" and "We Dem Boyz" until he accidentally burns his apartment down from turning up too much.

Want more insight into our dumb minds? Here's what we were listening to this week.

Noisey Blog
shit we googled this week
kia spectra
cliven bundy