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Music by VICE

"Authenticity Machine" by Mysteries Is an Excellent Soundtrack for a Sacrifice

Well these guys look like the kind of people you'd cross the street to avoid.

by Kim Taylor Bennett
Sep 30 2014, 1:01pm

Look at these guys. This can't be a band surely? It looks like the cloth-headed kid from Spanish horror flick The Orphanage decided to restyle Klaxons and pull them out of their tragic new raver-in-a-dumpster garb by pillaging his grandma's linen closet, but by the time he got to the green-faced guy he'd given up. Nice try I guess. Sonically Mysteries new song, "Authenticity Machine," is moodily obtuse: drum sticks clatter, doomy synths rumble—almost on a trip-hop tip—while the singer's langurously paced, velvety tones contain the warmth and depth of Elbow's Guy Garvey. Which is always a good thing. Meanwhile the chorus would be totally perfect for the soundtrack to the scene in a horror film (I've got scary on my mind) where the young virgin stumbles through the woods trying to escape that cult by the lake only to come across a clearing, and a bonfire, and these three dressed like this doing some freaky-ass ritual involving a goat and some spider legs. And guess what SHE'S THE INGREDIENT FOR THE SACRIFICE.

Mysteries—I'm taking off to write the script. Expect a carrier pigeon to deliver the call time for your cameo.

New Age Music Is Here is out 10/28 on Felte.

Kim is leaving Brooklyn for a log cabin in the woods. Does anyone have a typewriter? Follow Kim Taylor Bennett on Twitter.