NEW YORK - "DON'T" IN THE NEW YORK TIMES
We always thought massage therapists enjoyed clocking free time at the food co-op, doula class, restorative hatha yoga getaway, sensory deprivation tank, and any living room that invites exhaustive conversation about sexual politics, but a recent DON'T just showed up in the New York Times and boy, were our certainties askew. When not kneading trauma out of the erector spinae, this guy hangs out at the foot rails in bars stuffed into a homemade tube of rug. Apparently he finds that sort of intense pressing relaxing, just like a cow or an autistic child. It's a good thing he decided to not show his face for this story, though. There are probably tons of 48-year-old Maltese immigrant massage therapists named Georgio T. in Fairfield County and he wouldn't want anyone knowing he's the one of the lot with the creepy fetish.