Game of Thrones season eight’s stiff, video game-reminiscent plot slogged on this week with The Last of the Starks, an episode which gave us some much needed cool down time after The Long Night’s very long, very, very hard-to-see battle.Luckily (?) for us, our faves were back to being stupid in no time, gearing up for a big showdown between Dany and Cersei. Let’s get this over with.
With the dead being dead for real now, it’s time to party. Dany’s bev of choice appeared be a hearty mead from… Starbucks.
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As the RIP Night King fiesta wound down, Jaime and Brienne finally hooked up! It was a genuinely touching and intimate moment, which was of course followed by Jaime unceremoniously dipping from Winterfell entirely. The Kingslayer is riding back to Cersei because he’s still a “bad boy,” or something. Sigh.
Meanwhile, Tormund left with Ghost, setting up the spinoff people REALLY deserve.
Bronn was also in this episode, because reasons.
Also, Dorne! Remember Dorne? Neither do I!
OK, back to the big picture. Unless you really think Cersei is going to make it out of this shit alive, the Iron Throne is likely going to come down to some sort of split between Dany, Jon, and Sansa. Tyrion and Varys are trying to make sense of this.
All of these machinations are made a lot more complicated when Jon tells Arya and Sansa about his true lineage, which Sansa promptly blabs about to Tyrion.
Tyrion, who I have to assume is recovering from a concussion from the crypt fight, apparently thought an impassioned speech about human life would sway Cersei (yes, THAT Cersei) into surrendering. It went predictably.
A detail Tyrion dropped might sway Euron, though.
Finally, after Grey Worm surprisingly lived through the Battle of Winterfell, the writers of this damn show decided to deny the best couple on this show their beach vacation, killing Missandei. Many viewers were not pleased.
Having lost Jorah, Missandei, two dragon kids, and basically all the Dothraki in the span of just a few episodes, Daenerys is now primed and ready to go full Mad Queen next episode. Stay tuned!
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