Pat Neshek Calls Zack Greinke a 'Turd' for Not Signing Autograph

Pat Neshek, currently a reliever on the Colorado Rockies, is also a big-time autograph collector. As a player in Major League Baseball, he's got a fairly unique leg up on the rest of the hounds out there, but just because he's got access doesn't mean he always gets what he wants. Sometimes Zack Greinke will be a turd to you.

Neshek's quest for Greinke's John Hancock was actually a story heading into the All-Star Game festivities this season, since both were representing the National League and Neshek has had a tough time getting the Diamondback pitcher's autograph. He was so committed he even said he'd try to get his kid to do it for him. That obviously didn't pan out, and now Neshek has relayed the story on a memorabilia message board he's known to frequent.

Basically, Neshek claims that Greinke promised to sign something for him while the two were in Miami, but when the Colorado reliever tried to cash in on the promise a couple weeks ago—the Rockies visited the D-Backs at the beginning of the month—Greinke refused to even acknowledge that he had made the promise.

Excerpts from the post include "this is the only ahole in major league baseball that has been a turd to me," and a couple of shots about Greinke's well-documented battle with social anxiety.

Neshek says Greinke told him the reason he won't sign for him is that Neshek "wear[s] him out," which, judging by the retelling of this story, seems like a fair complaint! Neshek sent cards over to be signed. No dice. Approached him during BP. No dice. Confronted him one more time in the outfield, begging him to just sign something. No dice. That was the final straw for Greinke, and he even made clear he wouldn't even sign something for his kid.

There is only one way this can possibly end and that is with the Arizona Diamondbacks acquiring Pat Neshek and Greinke letting out the longest, loudest sigh anyone's ever heard.