Music by VICE

Canada Betrays Itself, Chooses Ed Sheeran Over Drake in Streaming

Apple Music's top albums chart is in, and Canuck patriotism is out, it seems.

by Noisey Canada Staff
Dec 7 2017, 8:07pm

At this point the only thing Canadians are loyal to is their respective hockey teams and to making sure all visits to the closest convenience store (we call them "Mac's") are as awkward as possible. Apple Music have released their top-streamed albums of the year 2017 and the charts for Canada hold an unpleasant surprise. Here are the top 10, via Apple themselves.

1. Ed Sheeran, ÷
2. Drake, More Life
3. The Weeknd, Starboy
4. Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.
5. Taylor Swift, Reputation
6. Bruno Mars, 24K Magic
7. Post Malone, Stoney
8. J. Cole, 4 Your Eyez Only
9. Drake, Views
10. The Chainsmokers, Memories… Do Not Open

Yes, that is two Canucks, Drake and the Weeknd, being beaten out by none other than Ed goddamn Sheeran. Canadians chose English balladry over Torontonian anthems. To add insult to injury, not one but TWO of Drake's albums have been defeated by the Sheeran, the Red Voice. What does he do that Drake can't? Both are dabbling in dancehall. Both can rap and sing. Is it because he plays guitar? It's probably that. Also, as has been said before, Canadians are not loyal or patriotic at all to their local heroes.

Sheeran also ran the songs chart, the top 10 of which is below:

1. Ed Sheeran, Shape of You
2. Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee feat. Justin Bieber, Despacito
3. The Chainsmokers & Coldplay, Something Just Like This
4. Imagine Dragons, Believer
5. James Arthur, Say You Won’t Let Go
6. Kygo & Selena Gomez, It Ain’t Me
7. Clean Bandit, Rockabye (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
8. The Weeknd, Starboy (feat. Daft Punk)
9. Ed Sheeran, Castle on the Hill
10. The Chainsmokers, Closer (feat. Halsey)

Admittedly, there are still lots of Canadians in the upper reaches of both these charts, but this loss will sting for a while. Funnier still is that More Life was the number one album in the US Apple Music streaming chart, according to Billboard, so how's that for national pride?

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