The Definitive Ranking of the Best Late-Night Snacks for Canadian Students

We're going to go out on a limb and suggest that if you've made it to this definitive (read: bullshit) list, you understand the importance of eating something before going to bed after a night of drinking. There are a couple reasons for this: One; no matter how hungover you wake up feeling, having something to throw up is better than dry heaving. Two; eating something before going to sleep alone gives you just a small taste of happiness.

So, with that in mind, we've polled our staff and writers from across the country about their favourite snacks and viciously fought in our Slack channels before just letting an editor arbitrary rank them because democracy is hard.

Going to bed wasted and hungry
Bar olives
Dry garlic bagel from Tim Hortons because they stop serving most sandwiches by 3 AM
Smoke a dart while reading a list of all the good foods everyone else in Canada gets to eat late at night (rural life edition)
Another beer, I guess?
Leftover salad

24-hour grocery store California rolls
Deli sandwich w/ minimal meat but hella cheese so you don't vomit immediately
Pack of string cheese
New, fancy-ass Pizza Pockets
That one pizza place that you can lowkey buy takeout beer from because you hungry but you also wanna keep turning up
Chips you rustled up (non-sour cream and onion edition)
Fuck it, gonna finish this whiskey bottle
Cold leftover pizza (with extra salt)
Zoodles
Whatever slice is left at Pizza Pizza/Pizza Nova/generic corporate pizza shop

Frozen pierogis from your parents' freezer
Pita wraps that you stole from your roommate and are going to regret eating the whole pack of in the morning
Bad-but-still-pretty-good poutine (must be purchased at a Montreal pizza place but please for the love of god do NOT eat the pizza)
Frozen pizza, Dr. Oetker edition
Ring-a-Wing
Alphagetti
Noodle bowl from 7-11
Nutella, eaten with a spoon

A heritage chicken that you stole from your roommate
Hot Fairmount or St-Viateur bagels out of the 24-hour oven
Regina-style pizza
Smoke's Poutinerie (some heavy on the toppings)
Getting a full pizza made up of the random old slices the corner pizza place has left over right before they close (don't pay more than $10 edition)
Anything from 7-11
Sour cream and onion chips (non-stale edition)
Old-school Pizza Pockets

Pizza Pops
24-hour Portuguese bakery so you can gorge on custard tarts and cod rolls if they have them, or see if they'll make you a $3 sandwich. This one's for the pros.
"Canadian Chinese" Combination Plate A with extra sweet and sour chicken sauce
McDonald's McNuggets
"The Creation" from Boustan
Hot kimchi soup
Kraft Dinner, heavy on the ketchup
Shake and burger from 24-hour diner (non-Guy Fieri approved edition)

Jigg's Poutine at The Celtic Hearth (it is literally all the ingredients of a traditional Newfoundland sunday dinner: salt meat, turnip, potatoes, pease pudding, possibly also boiled cabbage, but maybe not because while it is integral to the full dinner it tastes like fucking death, served on top of a giant poutine. It is approximately 6,000 calories. Not recommended for Mainlanders)
Any donair (non-Pizza Corner edition)
Smoked meat sandwich at The Main (or Le Roi du Smoke)
Jerk chicken and rice that you saved from dinner because you are a fucking genius oh my god I'm the smartest person alive (you say this to yourself as you stuff it all in your face in five minutes at 4 AM)
Taquito from 7-11

That 24-hour pho place (anywhere edition)
Good poutine, Toronto edition (Poutini's)
All the dim sums
Dim sum with cold tea
Calf brains at L'Express (pretty much blackout drunk on obscure wine edition)
Shawarma fries, French fries with beef or chicken shawarma shredded on top and garlic sauce. Must find a place that's down.
Regular shawarma
Garlic fingers with donair sauce
Alexandra's (Halifax, Nova Scotia) Canadian pizza (3:45 AM delivery edition)
Whatever slice is left over at that old school pizza place that also sells drugs
Good poutine, Quebec edition (La Banquise, Patati Patata, Chez Claudette)
Street meat (anything available)

Steamed dog at the Montreal Pool Room
Authentic donair (Pizza Corner edition)
Legit poutine (That place in St Henri that's been shut down by the health inspector multiple times but is still somehow open)
Mr. Dinner (Legendary Grand Falls delicacy of great restorative power. You mix a box of Kraft Dinner and Mr. Noodles together and then add the cheese sauce and ramen seasoning together.)