James Harden Was So Bad Lil B is Willing to Lift the Curse

Last night, the Rockets put on a display that was worthy of hanging above the toilet. In what was billed to be a thrilling Game 6, with the Rockets down one in a must-win situation at home, Houston absolutely flamed out, losing 114-75 to the San Antonio Spurs. More specifically, James Harden stunk—engulfing his brilliant, MVP-worthy season in a towering inferno of fart gas.

We're talking about Harden having three times as many turnovers as made field goals (six to two). Ten points on the day from the team-leader who nearly tripled that for his season average. Two missed free throws and six personal fouls. A final stat line that would be embarrassing for…anyone really. The only thing that might come close is "Rockets-era Dwight Howard," but Dwight doesn't deserve that, man.

People got to speculating about how this possibly could have happened. At the half, reporters were asking head coach Mike D'Antonio if Harden was sick or injured. Some even genuinely speculated as to whether or not Harden was concussed after an injury to the face in Game 5. Your cantankerous, irrational old grandpa was out there asking if Harden was drugged.

But we all know what really happened:

James Harden's horrific performance could have only been conjured by the divine right of the Based God—it was on that epic, Bible plague level right there.

For those of you out of the loop, Lil B prays to the God of all things good, the Based God. But despite saying that the Based God is a benevolent force, Lil B usually invokes its wrath upon others. Lil B and the Based God have a special reserve batch of hellfire and brimstone set aside for Harden, however, because Lil B claims that Harden stole his patented cooking hand gesture. In fact, Lil B and the Based God have it out so bad for Harden that Lil B reiterated earlier this year that all other Based sins were forgiven in the NBA—except for Harden's:

Whatever caused Harden to have a serious dip in his performance, you know that the Based God only needed to focus on Harden's offensive game. Because when you take away that, all Harden's got is…well, maybe that's another kind of curse all together.