When it comes to dating, there are plenty of factors affecting compatibility. We scrutinize potential romantic partners based on how they dress, what movies they like, and of course, the contents of their iPod.
Sure, it might be electrifying when you find out a love interest shares an appreciation of Ben Klock's discography, and the opposite can have the inverse effect. What if your date has been racking up plays on Hardwell's Spotify (somebody has to be doing it) or listening to a terrible genre like electro swing? Bad music taste is enough to send some people running for the hills.
However, if you're in the market for true love, does any of this even matter?
To help answer these questions, I contacted Shannon Tebb, a Toronto matchmaker, dating coach, and professional wingwoman whose insights have been featured everywhere from CBC Radio to Huffington Post and Toronto Sun. That's right: she'll actually devote an entire night to assisting your pick-up game, since all of your friends are either terrible at it or super-married. We asked Tebb to shed some light on the relationship between taste in music and finding someone special.
THUMP: How important is music taste when you're matching two people?
Shannon Tebb: It isn't a huge thing I look at. It's kind of something that's a little simple.
Okay, hit me on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'd rate it a 5 or a 6.
Damn, that's pretty low. That's like an optimistic C-.
Well, unless someone's in a band and that's their life. Overall you have to look at their whole lifestyle.
If I was one of your clients and I told you I hate drum and bass music—have you heard drum and bass music?
I mean, I don't know...
It's like this incessant drumming—
Yeah. That stuff scares me.
Well, pretend you thought you'd found me Mr. Right, only he was obsessed with drum and bass. What are the chances of you setting us up anyway?
If that was like a huge part of your lifestyle and you were at raves every weekend, then no, I wouldn't match you guys. Because that would be an obstacle from the beginning.
So why is meeting someone who likes the exact same music as me such a turn on?
It's something you can build on. That's why I recommend if you love live music, then make sure you're in the right spots, you're talking to people in that environment, and connecting on why you're there.
Have you heard of the dating site Tastebuds? It's an app that matches you with people who have similar music tastes.
No... Should I join?
I tried it once, but I just met a lot of weirdos who also just happen to like Claude VonStroke. So what do you thi—
No. I don't know, it's just too generic. It's like, if you're going to fall in love with someone, why base it on their music tastes? It's a bit superficial.
Is it cool for me to try to enlighten someone I'm dating by showing them there's more out there than mainstage EDM? Or would that qualify as trying to change someone, which I've heard is a relationship no-no.
Well, I think music taste isn't like a key trait in somebody; it's not like you're trying to make him a better person. You're not trying to change a person; you're just trying to open them up to maybe playing tennis, and if they don't like it, then you let it go. It's the same with music. It's okay to push your partner a bit, not change them.
What's your final advice if I'm into somebody but completely turned off by their taste music?
Reassess the situation and think, you know, is this a big enough deal breaker to not give this person a chance? Like, how big is this? It doesn't mean you're not going to get along in a relationship and have chemistry or love.