Red Bull is paying off Canadians for not giving them wings.
The energy drink company agreed to a settlement after Canadian Michael Attar launched a class-action lawsuit earlier this year. The suit argued that the energy drink greatly overstated how impactful its product was when in reality it’s no more impactful than other caffeinated products, and that it, uh, doesn’t give you wings.
Instead of fighting the lawsuit, Red Bull decided to settle. In a statement, a spokesperson wrote that it didn’t want to be distracted by some lengthy litigation in Canada.
“Red Bull’s marketing has always been witty, truthful, and accurate,” reads a statement the company gave to the Daily Hive.
The company has agreed to pay out $850,000 (US$640,000).
To see if you’re eligible to be compensated you have to ask yourself, "Hmmm, did I drink Red Bull in the past 12 years?" If you answered yes to this question then you must ask, "Did it give me wings?"
If the answer is no then, boom-shakalaka (something people who drink Red Bull say, probably) you can get yourself a sweet tenner. (You can start your journey to that cash here.)
This isn't the first time that a stunt like this has been orchestrated. Some wily litigators in the U.S. did the same shit about five years ago. The group was successful in arguing that Red Bull was guilty of “false advertising.” In this case, the crew got the energy drink company to hand over an impressive US $13 million. Sad, wingless Red Bull fans could grab US $10 each.
Turns out Attar wanted in on that sweet US $10 (it’s a lot of money for a Canadian) but was turned down due to his location north of the border. Not to be dissuaded, the man then took up the lawsuit here in Canada where he, like a caffeinated Robin Hood, won us Canadians $10.
If you’re disappointed by the lack of wings in the settlement, VICE Canada has hatched a plan: Grab that cash and take yourself out to Wing Wednesday at your local shitty bar.
It’s probably the closest you’ll ever get to Red Bull literally giving you wings.
Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter.