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Canada’s Air Force Accidentally Bombed Miami… With a Raft

We’re really sorry, guys. Really, really sorry.
All photos via Screenshot of WSNV.

Not since we burned the White House down has the Canadian military launched an assault at the great beast to the south of us (come at me, history nerds). But that all changed on Wednesday when we bombed Miami with a raft, puncturing through the roof of a home and injuring one American woman.

The inflated raft was being carried by a Canadian CH-146 Griffin helicopter that was returning from a military exercise in which they were practicing open water rescues in the ocean off the coast of Florida. The 80-pound raft became what police described as “separated from the helicopter” and plunged downwards to the Miami streets.

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Meanwhile, well below the falling raft at around 3 PM, Luce Rameau was lying on her bed talking on her cell phone to a friend. This conversation was quickly halted when the raft smashed through her roof narrowly missing her and covering her in wood and dust. Speaking to the Miami Herald, Rameau said that she thought she was being bombed.

“I kept screaming, ‘What happened? What happened?”’ she told the Herald. “I was shocked.”

The tightly-packaged raft—two by two feet in size—punched a pretty clean hole of about a half a metre in diameter through Rameau’s bedroom roof. A captain with Miami-Dade Fire told reporters that Rameau fortunately “narrowly escaped disaster and sustained only minor injuries.”

A couple Canadian soldiers went and collected the raft on the same day because, you know, that shit is super expensive and our military is pretty underfunded.

The RCAF said that they intend to support the individuals affect and that the RCAF’s Directorate of Flight Safety will be investigating it but, in the meantime, us Canadians would like you to know how sorry we are about this whole shabang.

We’re really sorry, guys.

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