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Seven Ways To Find Your DJ Name

"That which we call a DJ by any other name would smell as sweet." The DOs and DONTs of DJ naming.

One of the greatest things about DJing is that with the right amount of practice, a moderately tuned ear and a modicum of natural talent, pretty much anyone can do it. You don't even really need any particular equipment—we've all seen a DJ rip it with an iPad app, right?

This is not to say that DJing is a simple or easy craft. Maybe anyone can do, it but very few can do itmasterfully. But unlike other pastimes, it can be learned and perfected, even without any true "professional" training. For instance, no amount of practice (or even personal lessons from MJ himself) could propel my 5' 8" Jew-bod into the NBA. Oh well.

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In today's Internet, you can find countless YouTube tutorials on DJing and producing. You can even enroll in online courses to help you perfect your mixing, and you'll never have to leave the comfort of your own abode. In a matter of weeks you can learn how to twist a knob or two, raid the hallowed halls of Beatport and voilà— you're a DJ!

Now there's only one thing between your bedroom DJ sets and the Bonnaroo main stage. I'm not talking about a cool architectural haircut, or an array of tight V-Necks from Guess ('sup Tiesto). Nor am I talking about Twitter verification or even a record deal, for that matter. That comes later. First, you need a name.

Your name is something that is absolutely vital to your career as a record selector. It's the first thing that people will encounter when coming across one of your productions, and the their first impression of you when they're looking through flyers or Facebook events. There are about a million DJ monikers out there, from the utterly cringeworthy to the supremely creative, and all of them of them tell a story (or at least we hope so). I did a little digging through the history books to answer the question that's on all of our minds. What's in a name?

THE REAL NAME

Armin van Buuren.

Others just have to bank on an easy name with a pleasant ring to it. Dillon Francis claimed that other artists like Calvin Harris gave him the confidence to take the money and run with his real name. [Editorial note: it has come to our attention that Dillon was actually mistaken-- Calvin Harris' real name is Adam Wiles]

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THE REALLY LONG CONFUSING NAME MADE INTO SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY PRONOUNCE

THE OXYMORON

Sometimes the best DJ names are ironic, a little screwy, or downright misleading. Big room house maestro and tai-chi(ll) expert Laidback Luke makes music that is anything but downtempo but those who know him will attest to the fact that he is one easygoing dude. Fatboy Slim (whose first moniker was actually DJ Ox), like Biggie Smalls, takes the cake in an oxymoron contest.

THE REAL NAME MADE INTO SYMBOLS, OR MAYBE A STUPID ACRONYM

Sorry guys but this one is straight up lame in the membrane. Steve Angello's brother apparently didn't think it would be cool enough to just use two parts of his crazy Swedish name and instead decided to add a "21" to half of his first name "Antoinne"—hence the title AN21. To me this sounds like a possible pandemic disease like SARS or some shit. Other lazy-namers have been known to lop off a few letters from their first and last names. An example of this is British beat slinger Mat Zo, whose real name is Matan Zohar. I think he should have stuck with his original handle so his album could be called You Don't Mess With The Zohar. Others like TJR, real name TJ Rozdilsky, just did…well you get the idea.

THE REALLY DEEP ACADEMIC NAME

Enter Gesaffelstein. I guess it makes sense that a DJ with one of the most boring real names in history (Mike Levy) would choose to go the absolute opposite route when choosing his handle. G-stein chose to go all academic on our ass and cooked up a title that takes a real etymologist to decode. He stated in an interview with Mixmag that the name Gesaffelstein was something he conjured up while living in Belgium for six months. "It's a conjunction of two words," he explains. 'The first is 'Gesamtkunstwerk (why not Gesaffeltwerk?!)', which is an expression in German meaning the perfection of art. The second is Einstein, because I'm a big fan of his work." And let us not forget DJ /Rupture, whose strategically placed and oddly poetic forward slash we are left to interpret, or just leave off the flyer entirely.

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THE MYTHICAL CREATURE/RELIGIOUS NAME

Californian DJ and producer, Daedelus, who was born Alfred Weisberg-Roberts but then changed his name to Alfred Darlington, was inspired by the Greek mythological figure Daedalus who was a "skilled craftsman and artisan" responsible for inventing the labyrinth we know so well. This is a rather fitting title seeing that Mr. Alfred is known for his expertly crafted, often mechanical, twitchy beats, which he slings together via high-tech Monome.

Swedish superstar Avicii probably didn't take very long to realize that his real name, Tim Bergling, wouldn't look too good under the marquee lights. When in doubt, though, turn to Buddhist religious references, duh! Avicii's name takes inspiration from Avīci—which is the lowest level of the Naraka or "hell" realm. This is said to be a cube buried 20,000 yojanas (roughly 160,000 miles) beneath the Earth's surface. This all seems strange given that Timmy is known for producing uplifting festival house. Either this guy was really running out of ideas or he has one hell (#punlife) of a guilty conscience.

Dubstep super group Nero produces cinematic festie jams that wouldn't be out of place as a soundtrack to a Roman gladiator fight. It is not in appropriate, then, to take the name of the Roman emperor Nero, whose rule is shorthand for tyranny and extravagance. It is said that he executed his mother and poisoned his stepbrother, in an interesting twist on the Oedipal arrangement. Oh, and he played his fiddle while the city of Rome burned around him? Sounds like a real charmer.

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Deadmau5.

THE CRAZY STORY NAME ABOUT "THAT ONE TIME, WHEN…"
Many of you rave historians have probably heard this one, but nevertheless, the story behind how our favorite Twitter assassin got his name is pretty hilarious. During his early days of chat room trolling Joel was surprised to find an actual deceased mouse in his computer. After that, people he would talk to in his chats began reffering to him as "that dead mouse guy." Check out this video to get the complete low-down on Jolo's handle as well as how he got around to designing his mau5 head.

If you can think of a more bizarre name than "Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs" then please let me know. It would make sense that the man behind this prehistoric moniker (and infamous dino gettups) also has a rather crazy birth name: Orlando Higginbottom. Easily the most British sounding name since Winston Churchill. The four-part DJ handle might recall some sort of educational children's show about dinosaurs and science, rather than expertly crafted pop-tinged house productions. When describing his name and persona, Higginbottom states "TEED came out of a conversation about how I was bored with 'cool shit.' I was bored of trends. I was bored of the artist ego and I wanted to do something that could never be cool. So I thought I'd come up with the most ridiculous name I could possibly come up with. It's always slightly tongue and cheek."

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Wobble messiah, Bassnectar, recently took to his website to finally decode the meaning behind his DJ name as well as his logo and some various other knick knacks. I found this excerpt to be rather interesting and think it's worth a read. "One Sunday morning, a few hundred friends and I were deep off in the boonies on a beach outside of Santa Cruz. We had been there all night absolutely raging, and as the sun rose over the water and illuminated the beach I noticed another sound system and group of people way, way down on another side of the beach. I was usually the sober guy who would go talk to the cops if they came to bust our fun, or to basically handle whatever needed to be handled, so I started walking over to this other party. Halfway there, I met one of their representatives, a small guy who looked kind of like an Ewok. He introduced himself as 'Brother' and explained that his group (they were called 'Spaceship Gaia') had noticed our party and wanted to come make friends… Brother was (and is) a huge influence on the early Santa Cruz full moon collective scene, and also one of my favorite DJs to this day. One time he gave me a sticker he made that said Butterfly Beings Drink Bass Nectar, and as soon as I saw it I thought that if I ever made a band again I would name it 'Bassnectar." AND IF YOU WERE WONDERING HOW AFROJACK GOT HIS NAME…

BOOM!

David just found out that there is a DJ name using his initials. @DLGarber