I have resisted for so long. I ordered nothing from Popeyes' needy attempt to emulate Béyonce's Ivy Park, and I wouldn't be caught dead in In-n-Out's ugly-ass shoes. I saw Baby Nut, Planters' cloying attempt at beating Baby Yoda, and I scoffed; I went to the Cheetos Fashion Show and deemed it dumb. I have prided myself on my ability to never shill or fall for a brand's stupid shticky wares.
But now I have finally been beaten down. And the stunt that has broken the self-righteous camel's back? The Kentucky Fried Chicken x Crocs collab, which I regret to report is actually fire. One pair is your standard garden dad Croc, while the other is a decidedly fashion-forward platform clog-Croc hybrid. Sadly, I would cop either.
After artist Me Love Me a Lot debuted the shoes at New York Fashion Week yesterday, KFC officially announced the collaboration this morning in a video that shows the KFC x Crocs coming hot and fresh out of a deep fryer. Per the press release, the shoes—which go on sale this spring—are also fitted with two fried chicken-scented and -shaped "Jibbitz" charms, so we can all give the phrase "bootlicker" new meaning.
The brands have won. And woe, I have lost: I love the shoes and even the stupid "Jibbitz." With a pair of these platforms, I will even use the word "Jibbitz" with pride, ignoring how absolutely dumb it really sounds, because in 2020, trading self-respect for a dope pair of fried chicken-scented platforms is the deal with the devil we deserve.
This article originally appeared on VICE US.