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Canadians Are a Bunch of Kleptomaniacs, New Poll Shows

According to a new Forum Research poll, 15% of you have stolen before. Merry Christmas, kleptos.
Justin Ling
Montreal, CA

Take a look at that new sweater you got for Christmas. Is the RFID tag still on it?

Well, then your fashion-illiterate aunt might be among the good chunk of Canadians who took a five-finger discount at the local Walmart.

A new poll from Forum Research, provided to VICE, asked Ontarians whether or not they've shoplifted before. And, even though it sounded like a really clever police sting operation, 15 percent of respondents said, yes, they've boosted. An impressive 73 percent said they've never done it—or, at least, they wouldn't cop to it—while the remainder refused to answer. The pollster figures the results are pretty accurate, too. Shoplifting is "petty theft which is relatively easy to admit to," said Forum President Lorne Bozinoff. Youth were, unsurprisingly, more likely to snatch a copy of Bonestorm from the display case at the Try-N-Save—more than one in five under the age of 34 admitted to stealing from a store at some point in their short lives, compared to just five percent of those do-gooder seniors. In case you want to score some political points with this: New Democrat and Green voters were more likely to steal, with 19 and 26 percent, respectively, admitting to their villainous ways. Judging by these numbers, Canada is a nation of kleptomaniacs—even ambitious calculations only estimate that one in 11 (27 million) Americans will shoplift in their lives. But shoplifting, as it turns out, is not a victimless crime (unlike punching someone in the dark)—North American businesses will apparently lose some $40 billion thanks to the ol' merchandise snatch-n'-grab. That huge economic toll has spurred businesses to go to Orwellian lengths to make sure you're not swiping candy bars or hair gel. Security giant ADT has started selling invisible security tags that will remain in the merchandise, even after you leave the store. There's also the advent of facial recognition software that's breaking onto the lucrative scene of anti-theft technology. Americans don't screw around when it comes to shoplifting. The National Association for Shoplifting Prevention (yes, that's a real thing) says 10 million people have been caught shoplifting in the past five years. That's three percent of their population. Half of those caught, apparently, were turned over to the police. Of course, 2014's most infamous alleged shoplifter didn't just get harassed by a mall cop—he got shot eight times and killed by a Missouri police officer. Michael Brown's supposed theft of a box of cheap cigars drew the response of Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson. Depending on which set of witnesses you believe, Wilson either responded to that theft with violence which later left Brown dead, or Brown attacked the officer and was killed as Wilson defended himself—though the truth may be somewhere in between. Here in Canada, though, police don't seem as interested in going after shoplifters. According to Statistics Canada, police dealt with about 88,000 cases of shoplifting in 2013 (400 of which were cases where the theft was over $5,000) and laid charges in about half those cases. In other words, American cops deal with more than seven times as many shoplifters as their Canuck counterparts. Shoplifting charges have been dropping in Canada, too. They fell five percent since 1998. The rate of shoplifting, in relation to the population, is the lowest it's been in decades. Follow Justin on Twitter.