shaq's feet

Shaq's Hideous Feet Get a Makeover

After being roasted about his hazmat feet, Shaq got himself a pedicure.

by Sean Newell
May 31 2017, 8:10pm

Apologies for this screencapture, which is from Shaq's Instagram.

Look, I'm really sorry to do this, but this is a post about Shaquille O'Neal's feet. There are many examples of the strange and often very dark times in which we currently find ourselves, and a blog post about Shaquille O'Neal's feet is as good as any.

To get you up to speed, Shaq introduced the world to the bloated horrorshow that is his foot nearly a week ago, during halftime of Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Cavaliers and Celtics. A shocked and haunted audience looked on as he twinkled his ghastly toes in an extremely and unnecessarily tight shot from TNT's camera. It was the purest nightmare fuel imaginable.

Two wrongs never ever make a right, and so I regret to inform you that Shaq is back on his bullshit. He filmed himself getting a pedicure today and unfortunately there is nothing to be done about the mangled mess inside his size 22s. You have been warned.

I am sorry.

Truly, I am not proud of what I have done here.

I would feel worse for Shaq, or at least sorry about the state of his feet—it cannot be easy carrying around his hulking frame for decades, and being crammed inside shoes that would otherwise not exist but for him—but has he no decency? Has he no regard for the millions of people sitting down to lunch and witnessing this cavalcade of grotesqueries?

The NBA Finals start tomorrow night, thankfully on ABC.

h/t Extra Mustard

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