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Youngest Ever Ontario MPP Won’t Start Work Until Proper Banger Thrown

It's going to be the most rootin'-tootin', gosh-darn, hunky-dory time that a swell home-schooled 19-year-old elected politician who lives with his parents ever did see.

by Mack Lamoureux
Nov 29 2016, 7:16pm
You only get sworn in as the youngest ever MPP in Ontario's history once.

So, it's the perfect time to par-tay and, according to Ontario PC party leader Patrick Brown, that's just what Sam Oosterhoff, the first year university student turned MPP, is going to do.

Oosterhoff is so committed that his swearing-in be a big deal that he had to push back the actual date he was supposed to be sworn in so his political party could throw him a worthy rager. (Politicians call this a 'swearing-in celebration.')

You know what they say about social conservatives knowing how to party.

Read More: Ontario's Newest MPP is a '100 Percent Pro-life' Teenager Who Lives With His Parents

Oosterhoff's swearing-in is going to be the most rootin'-tootin', gosh-darn, hunky-dory time that a swell home-schooled 19-year-old elected politician who lives with his parents ever did see.

Boy howdy!

When asked about the future banger by the Toronto Star Ontario PC party leader Patrick Brown spilled the juicy details.

"It's a special occasion to have a celebration of a 19-year-old, it's making history, and so Sam is planning a much larger swearing-in ceremony," he said. "I understand it will be very soon."

Hot-diggity-damn, that's going to be one heck of a shindig.

Hell, Oosterhoff was so busy (presumably) filling up the balloon effigies of Kathleen Wynne and abortionists with helium that he had to push back being sworn in. It was expected that he would be sworn in on Monday alongside the other newly elected MPP, Nathalie Des Rosiers, but it was pushed back.

Des Rosiers, for her part, showed up—like a social outcast without a future banger in her honour would—to her scheduled swearing-in on Monday.

But lo, a conspiracy!

Critics are saying that Oosterhoff, a staunch social conservative who has described himself as "100 percent pro-life," may have had his swearing-in date pushed back so he would miss the debate and vote for Bill 28which passed. Bill 28 makes it easier for LGBTQ couples to have and raise children.

During the campaign, Brown was accused of muzzling Oosterhoff and his socially conservative beliefs.

The third reading for the All Families Are Equal Act was on Tuesday, it updates Ontario's parentage and birth registration rules and changes the language to be as gender neutral as possible. On Twitter, Oosterhoff tweeted that he would be joining his co-workers Wednesday.

So, on the other side of the coin, the decision may very well be less Superbad and more House of Cards and while Oosterhoff didn't get to vote on Bill-28 at the very least he still gets to have his sweet-ass banger.

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