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The Washington Capitals Stanley Cup Parade Is as Ridiculous as Expected

Ovechkin won't put the Cup down, Zambonis in the streets, a Stanley Cup made of beer cans—what else do you want?

by Liam Daniel Pierce
Jun 12 2018, 5:50pm

Screen captures via Instagram/@smithpelly, Twitter/@PostSports, Twitter/@wusa9

The Washington Capitals have been The Washington Capitals have been partying and partying and partying since their Stanley Cup victory this past Thursday. And give it to them! They broke a gargantuan curse on all sports in the DC area, claiming their first Cup in their 44-year history. So, despite whatever tatters Alex Ovechkin's liver is in at this point, it's time for the fans to lift him and the rest of the Caps up for yet another (and no-way the last) party.

Speaking of No. 8's liver, he got things going early, before they ever stepped foot on a bus:

The parade just wouldn't seem right if it didn't start out with a flying V and Ovi pumping the Cup above his head:

And Ovi wasn't the only one with a Stanley Cup to himself:

Apparently these guys stayed up all night drinking Natty Lights to build this beautiful sculpture. If they really wanted to do it right, though, they would have chosen Coors Light to make it all silver. But the colander was truly inspired.

Hardly the only makeshift Cup at the parade:

And we've seen crowds at the Washington Mall before, but here's a nice view—and it seems to still be ramping up.

The good doctors of DC even had people covered:

And some parents didn't even try to give a good excuse for their kids:

Not to mention these people, who went all the way to get out of work for the day (and longer):

But this fucking bandwagon fan:

No word if T.J. Oshie swiped him in.

The fire department brought out its own very-DC proposal for who should run in 2020—and yes, that's a fire deputy chief tweeting that out.

But everyone was waiting on the boys, and they certainly didn't disappoint:

Good thing there's an ongoing cleanup effort:

We'll keep you updated on any other pending messes.

UPDATE (1:57pm EST)

Like this kind of mess:

(2:45pm EST)

So all the way across the country, the Capitals—despite all the parade antics—were doing something pretty classy. They ran a full-page ad in the Las Vegas Review-Journal, congratulating the Vegas Golden Knights:

But, sadly, the whole ceremony had to come to a close. Ovechkin wanted to make sure he hollered at everyone in the proper way:

And close out the ceremonies in the proper way:

In case you're uninitiated, Ovi said at the beginning of the season, "We're not going to be suck this year." There was even a shirt made to immortalize it. Now he wants you to know that things officially ramped up. "We're not going to be fucking suck this year" indeed.