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Music

Here Is President Barack Obama, Still Having Quite a Time, Dancing to Michael Jackon’s “Thriller”

The White House’s Halloween party seemed lit.

Let us, as ever, round up the extremely chill things that 44th President of the United States Barack Obama has done of late. He has danced to "Hotline Bling" with Usher at a BET White House event​; he has talked to Sway about his favorite MCs, jumping off to talk about knowing Chance the Rapper as an eight-year-old​; he has thrown a party on his lawn and invited Justin Timberlake​. Barack Obama is an extremely chill dude.

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This video of he and Michelle dancing to Michael Jackson's "Thriller," however, is exceptional, even by his own high standards.

Why, you ask? They do not appear to be in costume nor do they seem to be fully committing to the dance routine. This, if anything, appears at first glance to be significantly less impressive than a tie-less Obama dancing to Drake.

Watch it again, though. Watch what seems at first to be your President forgetting the dance routine to "Thriller" and observe Michelle clapping along to the schoolkids in ​front of her​​​​​​​ as though she doesn't know what's going on.

This is all a rouse.

​Watch how, at the 25-second mark, the President and First Lady spontaneously let their arms go limp and crouch over as one. See, after 47 seconds, how they throw their arms in the air in tandem with one another and then, soon after, match each other's footsteps without so much as a glance across.

Is this a telepathy brought about by decades of marital bliss? I don't think so. No, the President and First Lady know every fucking move to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and they've known them for years. They've done the routine both independently and together a number of times. They could dance to "Thriller" without the music and not miss a step. The video above is a video of a married couple trying desperately not to appear as though they know the dance routine to Michael Jackson's "Thriller." They are fighting back their urge to dance with their every sinew.

As Obama observed on Sway the other day, anything that he says or does in jest might be taken up by his opponents and held up as an act of treason. Or, better still, might be taken up in the Facebook comments section of this post by politically virginal douchebags as a reason for unrest in the Middle East​ That's why he couldn't declare himself a "Citizen of Sway in the Morning;" that's why he can't dance to "Thriller" the way he wants to; that's why we can't have nice things.

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