Kiss and Tell is Waypoint's column, written by Kate Gray, examining the depiction of love and romance, sex and intimacy in video games, across its many and varied forms.
The game development industry is obsessed with boobs. They come in all sizes, though most of them are comically large and weirdly ovoid. They jiggle like jelly, they wobble like cheesecake, and they bounce like toddlers on a rigid diet of Skittles and Red Bull. They're usually everything but realistic, but in-game boobs are like a separate thing to real-life boobs: people love them despite their anatomical inaccuracies.
But where are all the dicks? People love to make the argument, every time I write something complaining about boobs, that I'd probably just love it if everyone had their wangs out, wouldn't I? Yeah, we bet you'd like that, you double-standard-having sexist.
Actually, yeah, I am up for that. Nudity in games should be cool, like it is in mainland Europe (heads up: if you go to a beach over there, eeeeveryone's gonna be naked). It's not so much that I have a problem with boobs in games; it's more that there's generally only two types of them in games. There are stiff, unmoving boobs, and there are boobs that yearn to want to escape their fleshy confines forever.
So, yes. More dicks. Dicks in every shape, size, color and girth. Dicks with bends in them. Dicks with huge veins. You know how diversity is normalized by saturation? The same applies to genitals, my friends. I'm not talking full penetration of games—I don't really fancy having todgers all up in Tetris—but more people making games with male nudity will hopefully make it more culturally acceptable.
Read more on Waypoint
Advertisement