Whoever is in charge of Derby's on-field entertainment has been taking some notes straight out of the universalists' guide book, because this shit is epic—literally. During Championship side Derby's halftime show against visitors Blackburn yesterday, some kind of fish mascot creature—confoundingly wearing a Chicago Bulls "Mackerel Jordan" jersey—started antagonizing a man with a soccer ball, until he straight up devoured him. Now that's some belly-of-the-beast type shit right there.The man slides down the fish's gullet, and somehow, the fish walks naturally over, spitting out pants and shoes along the way, until the man is left in his unders and socks, scrambling to get away from another trip into Monstro's belly (see: Pinocchio, or, uh, Moby Dick, or Jonah and the Whale, or—you get it). There was probably some kind of score in the soccer game, but the clear winners on the day were these two. Crushed it.