Béatrice Martin is a Montreal singer and performer behind the indie-pop Coeur de Pirate. Martin is, arguably, one of the most successful artists to emerge from Quebec since Celine Dion's reign during the 90s. Martin's debut self-titled French language record peaked on the Billboard chart at number six. From there, she began incorporating English into her work, notably with her last record 'Roses', broadening her reach as an artist. Still, though, the impact she's had on both Anglo and Francophone music is undeniable.
Martin came out as queer in an open letter on Noisey last summer after the Orlando Pulse nightclub shootings. The essay served as a way for Martin to work through and come to terms with who she is. Doing so as a public figure has its challenges: Martin's essay was met with praise and vitriol. But she was able to give voice to a personal transformation and struggle on a public platform in her own words. And so for her new column 'I'm Afraid of Everyone,' Martin will explore her struggle with anxiety, mental health, and doing that all while being a performer, public figure, partner, and, eventually, a mother.
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For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of everyone. I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I felt socially crippled. I guess it probably comes from childhood, as most issues do. I was a dynamic kid—I mean weren't we all? My mother reminded me recently that, as a little girl, I would put on shows in front of my whole family—though I don't remember this—and that I had a great time doing so.
At that time, I was so excited to start elementary school, to make new friends. But when I got there, that's when it all started to crumble. Somehow, I became the go-to girl to bully. I was targeted by virtually everyone—even the kids who weren't my regular bullies. Every morning I took the school bus to get to school and I was forced to sit next to the trashcan on the floor next to the driver on the way there. The bus driver didn't do shit about it. I guess he was too worried about his drive, that his responsibilities were greater than my mental or physical health or he just genuinely did not care. I'd vote for the latter. I wasn't allowed on the benches otherwise something would be done to me and I remember being so scared of that. That's when I started to think people were mean and I couldn't trust them. I also believed I was probably as good as trash. Even in second grade, I was bullied by my teacher who went on to tell my parents that she thought I was "mentally retarded" because all I did was draw Sailor Moon characters in class. So now adults were after me too? If no one was going to have my back, then I better stay away from people.
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