An Exhaustive Ranking of Every Freddy Krueger Zinger Ever
From the problematic jokes to the perfect quips.
Image via IMDb and New Line Cinema
Seated with Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees at the center of the slasher movie villain pantheon, far away from second-tier baddies like Pinhead and Chuckie, Freddy Krueger has left an undeniable and indelible mark on the horror genre and greater pop culture landscape. Over the course of 35 years and nine A Nightmare on Elm Street films, Freddy has haunted the dreams of innumerable teens, both on- and off-screen. But what sets Freddy apart from his fellow antagonists is his jokes.
Whereas most other killers silently lumber toward their victims like unstoppable forces of nature, Freddy bounces around like a Tex Avery character spouting off the cheesy, pre-attack bon mots of an evil Roger Moore Bond. Sadly, not all of these quips are created equal. He’s at his best when serving a dad joke-style pun that would kill you from how eye-rollingly bad it was had he not already stabbed you in the heart. Occasionally, the Elm Street films will try to force Freddy into a purely scary territory and lose some of his appeal in the process. Other times, the witticisms are lazy, or else they've aged incredibly badly. (Rewatching these films is... an experience.)
We've gathered and categorized every cinematic Freddy quip, ranking them from the bad and problematic to perfection, meaning you have to scroll all the way down to find the best ones. The TV show, video games, and billions of other non-film things the character has appeared in are not included, because I wanted to finish writing this before I die.
Sexual Assault Freddy
These are lines where the character, who usually thrives on playful violence, adopts weird sexual overtones.
“Welcome to my world, bitch. I should warn you, princess, first time tends to get a little messy.” –
said to an immobilized Lori before inserting his talons into her vagina in Freddy vs. Jason (FvJ)
“Your mouth says no, but your body says yes.”
–while dragging a claw up the leg of Nancy, who is tied to a bed in 2010’s A Nightmare on Elm Street (ANOES)
“Your eyes say ‘no, no,’ but my mouth says ‘yes, yes.’”
–before licking Lori in FvJ
“I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy.”
–before licking her through the phone receiver in the original ANOES (1984)
“Do you really think your boyfriend can wake you up? I’m your boyfriend now.”
–to Nancy as Quentin attempts to rouse her in the real world in ANOES (2010), a callback to the original film
Lines that have not aged well.
“How sweet. Dark meat.”
–said in FvJ upon spotting a potential victim, Kelly Rowland, who returns fire by calling Freddy a "faggot"
“A true warrior needs no eyes… Ninja warriors have calm. Find your balance, Rick!... Sayonara, Rick-san!”
–in a Mr. Miyagi voice while battling Rick, who knows karate, in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Lines where Freddy relentlessly taunts a paraplegic child named Will for his lack of mobility, all from ANOES 3: Dream Warriors.
“You look tired. Have a seat."
"When you wake up, it’s back in the saddle again."
"It’s the chair for you, kid.”
Lines where Freddy makes "bitch" the meat of the insult rather than a garnish.
“Think you’re so smart, huh, bitch.”
“Let me handle this bitch.”
–to Jason about a victim in FvJ
“He’s dead, you bitch.”
–in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
"We’ll see, bitch. We’ll just see.”
–in A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
“Die, little bitch.”
"I didn’t need a glove to kill your bitch of a mother and I don’t need one now.”
–while weaponless in Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
Lines that don't make sense coming from the character.
“Did you know that after the heart stops beating, the brain keeps functioning for well over seven minutes? We got six more minutes to play.”
–in ANOES (2010) after clawing a guy’s heart out, making the character seem more like Jigsaw than Krueger
“3… 2… 1… Ready or not, here I COME!” and “Tag, you’re it.”
–in ANOES (2010) in a clear attempt to cash in on the modern horror trope of Creepy Kid stuff
“Now why don’t you just fucking DIE?”
–to a stabbed, thrown, beaten, but still-alive Quentin in the ANOES (2010) by an uncharacteristically frustrated Freddy
“Hey, asshole. Up here.”
–to get Jason’s attention in FvJ by a Freddy scrambling to survive like an average human
Lines that simply don't make sense.
“It’s not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet.”
–said in FvJ after two humping camp counselors are revealed to be Freddy having sex with a woman’s corpse—what does that idiom has to do with necrophilia? C'mon!
“We taught her a lot but there’s so much more to learn. How about this, doc?”
–before unmenacingly cartwheeling over to his victim in Freddy's Dead
“Hey, Dylan, ever play ‘skin the cat?’”
–an attempt in Wes Craven's New Nightmare to scare a little boy with a phrase that isn't at all a thing
Lines that could have come from any horror villain. These quips are beneath the character.
“I’ll kill you now.”
–in Freddy’s Revenge
–before stabbing someone in Dream Warriors
“Wanna join your little friend?”
–in Freddy’s Revenge, referencing someone he’d already killed
“You think you was gonna get away from me?... Now you die!”
–in ANOES (1984)
“Why are you screaming? I haven't even caught you yet.”
–in ANOES (1984)
“Why are you screaming? I haven’t even cut you yet.”
–in ANOES (2010), calling back to and barely improving upon the original line
“I'm going to split you in two.”
–in ANOES (1984)
“You have nothing to worry about. This won’t hurt one... little... bit.”
–in ANOES (2010)
Lines that feel like first-draft puns or simple word associations masquerading as joke writing.
“Your shift is over.”
–to signify the end of a conversation in a dream diner in Dream Master, because waitresses work in shifts
“You can check in, but you can’t check out.”
–in Dream Master after turning a victim into a cockroach and trapping her in a roach motel
“Welcome to Wonderland, Alice!”
–in Dream Master when Alice shows up in the dream church for their final duel
“Put your pedal to the metal, man… Buckle up, dear.”
–before forcing a victim’s foot to the gas pedal in Dream Child
“This boy feels the need for speed… Fuel injection!... Fast lane.”
–while in the form of a motorcycle in Dream Child
“Faster than a bastard maniac, more powerful than a loco madman, it’s… Super-Freddy!”
–while in the form of a comic book villain in Dream Child
Lines where Freddy menacingly moves the story along.
“Hi, Alice. Wanna make babies?”
–asked at the beginning of Dream Child while possessing the soon-to-be-dead body of Alice’s boyfriend, creepily teeing up the childbirth elements of the film
“It’s time to put this bad dog to sleep for good.”
–in FvJ once he’s decided he must kill Jason
“There is no Jesse. I’m Jesse now.”
–to Lisa in Freddy’s Revenge to convey the body possession element of the plot
“He’ll die with me… He’ll die with both of us.”
–to Lisa in Freddy’s Revenge to convey the ramifications of attempting to kill him
“Every town has an Elm Street.”
–in Freddy's Dead to convey his future spooking plans
“One down… two to go…” and “Two down… one to go…” and “And then there were none…” and “Elm Street’s last brat, farewell.”
–in Dream Master as he counts down his kills, making his way to Alice
“You shouldn’t have buried me… I’m not dead.”
–at the beginning of Dream Master to convey his immortality
“I am forever. Too bad you’re not.”
–in Freddy's Dead to again convey his immortality
“You’ve got their powers, I’ve got their souls.”
–while battling Alice in the dream church in Dream Master to convey what they each have
“You think you’ve got what it takes? I’ve been guarding my gate for a long time, bitch… I am eternal.”
–in Dream Master to once more convey his immortality and job credentials
“The souls of children give me strength. Always room for more.”
–in Dream Warriors before lifting his shirt to reveal a torso covered with screaming souls
Lines where Freddy refers to his victims as pigs or meat.
“Look Joey… All the little piggies have come home.”
–while sitting on a throne of child skulls in Dream Warriors
“You’re mine now, piggie.”
–in Dream Warriors
“Where you going, piglet? They party’s just started.”
–in Dream Child
“Come here, my little piggy. I got some gingerbread for ya.”
–while chasing young Dylan in New Nightmare
“How sweet. Fresh meat.”
–upon seeing Alice in Dream Master
Lines where Freddy tells people to do stuff.
“Alice, come to daddy.”
–in Dream Child
“Come to papa… Gonna eat you up.”
–while chasing Dylan in New Nightmare
“Come to Freddy.”
“Wake up. You’re bleeding.”
–in 2010’s ANOES
Lines where Freddy announces stuff.
“Jesse’s dead, Lisa. Freddy’s here.”
–in Freddy’s Revenge
“You are all my children, now.”
–after menacing a pool party in Freddy’s Revenge
“NOW, NO ONE SLEEPS!”
–shouted in Dream Master
Lines that reference the real world's relationship with the film franchise.
“Meet your maker.”
–in New Nightmare after a bunch of story about Wes Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street scripts containing the primal evil that takes the form of Freddy
“Pass on a little message for me, will ya?”
–in FvJ before carving “FREDDY’S BACK” into a victim’s back, signifying both his return to both the cinematic universe and our own
Lines where Freddy plays cat-and-mouse with his victim or shows less regard for human life than usual.
“What a rush.”
–with his eyes rolling back in his head in euphoria after killing a heroin addict by injecting her with finger-needles in Dream Warriors
“Sorry, kid. I don’t believe in fairy tales.”
–before killing the Wizard Master in Dream Warriors after pretending to be affected by the kid’s powers
“Help yourself, fucker!”
–in Freddy’s Revenge before slashing and throwing a guy who attempted to defuse Freddy’s rampage with hostage negotiator tactics, insisting he was there to “help” him
Lines where Freddy is doing or taking the form of something squicky.
“Hey, Tina! Watch this.”
–before cutting off two of his own fingers in ANOES
“You should listen to your MOTHER.”
–to Kristen in Dream Warriors before holding up the decapitated head of her mother while in the form of her father
“See the family resemblance?”
–while popping his face out of a uterine wall in Dream Child
Lines where Freddy mocks his victim for their loss or predicament.
“Pick a pet for the rugrat, bitch.”
–while pushing Heather’s face into a pile of snakes in New Nightmare
“You ugly little shit. Now there’s a face only a MOTHER COULD LOVE!”
–in FvJ after unmasking Jason, who has returned to his childhood form, and before holding up the decapitated head of Jason’s mother
“What’s wrong, Lori, miss your wakeup call?”
–in FvJ when Lori’s alarm fails to rouse her
“Nancy, help me, please. Save me from... FREDDY!”
–in ANOES while at first wearing the face of Tina, only to rip it off and reveal himself at the final word
“I was just petting him.”
–after a victim comes outside to see Freddy has slashed her dog in 2010's ANOES
“This… is God.”
–Freddy’s first line of the franchise, said in ANOES while voguing with his fingerknives in response to a victim asking for God to save her
Lines where Freddy flexes his near-omnipotent dreamworld powers.
“Taryn… why should we fight? We’re old friends, you and I. Let’s get high!”
–to a recovering heroin addict before transforming his fingerknives into finger-needles in Dream Warriors
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Perhaps if there were more of me to spread around.”
–in Dream Warrior before multiplying himself via a bunch of mirrors.
Lines where Freddy is more about cracking wise than killing.
“Is she delicious or am I crazy?”
–while scooping and eating some blood out of a doll’s torso in Dream Child
“Going for a spin, lovebirds?”
–to a duo of victims in a rotating tube room in Dream Master
“I've been waiting five years for you, Jesse. We got special work to do, you and me. Things are really gonna heat up… You got the body… I got the brains.”
–before lifting his hat to reveal exposed brains in Freddy's Revenge
“IT’S A BOY!”
–to announce his own rebirth in Dream Child after crawling to an unholy alter as a Krueger fetus
“If the food don’t do ya in, the service will.”
–in reference to the surly waitress in a dream diner in Dream Master
–with a shrug like a put-upon Flintstones appliance critter after being vanquished by his own offspring at the end of Freddy's Dead
Lines where Freddy puts on a costume or takes on a job to sell his bit.
“We need to get you to… BED!”
–in FvJ while transforming from doctor to Freddy on the last word of the line
“Where’s your pass? Hey, Nancy, no running in the hallway.”
–while dressed as a hall monitor in ANOES (1984)
“No screaming while the bus is in motion.”
–in Freddy's Dead while dressed as a bus driver
“I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little soul too!”
–while flying on a broomstick in the form of the Wicked Witch of the West in Freddy's Dead
“I need to draw some blood!”
–in Dream Master moments after revealing himself to be an attending nurse (decades before Heath Ledger pulled the same move in Dark Knight)
Lines where Freddy gets his point across in just a few words.
“Man the torpedoes.”
–upon spotting gas canisters that might be used to eliminate Jason in FvJ
“Kung fu this, bitch.”
–after taking a roundhouse kick in Freddy's Dead
“Got your nose.”
–in FvJ before reaching out of a magazine and sticking his talons up a girl’s nose
–in Dream Master to Rick before letting the elevator he’s in free-fall
–to a victim’s body after killing her in a classroom in Dream Master
–in FvJ after playing telekinetic pinball with Jason’s body
–after cutting someone from their parachute so that they might fall to their death in Freddy's Dead
Lines where Freddy responds to his victims' dumb comments with witty rejoinders.
“Ooh, sounds like fun. It's a little fast for me. How about we hang, first?”
–after getting a “fuck you” from Nancy in response to his inquiry about what game she’d like to play in ANOES (2010)
“No, just me.”
–after someone moans “oh, God” in ANOES (2010)
“Well it ain’t Dr. Seuss.”
–in Dream Child after a victim looks up from a hospital gurney and notes that the doctor hovering over him is Krueger
“Your wish is my command.”
–in Dream Warriors before unshackling a victim from a bed frame so that he falls into a pit of fire after his friends demand he be let go
“Tell ‘em Freddy sent ya!”
–in Dream Master after a victim tells Freddy he’ll see him in hell
Lines where Freddy taps into the zeitgeist or digs into history.
“Don’t worry about my little errand boy. The only thing to fear is fear itself.”
–to quell concerns about Jason in FvJ
“Now I’m playing with power! Great graphics. You forgot the power glove. Boing. Boing. What do you know? I beat my high score.”
–in Freddy's Dead, a reference to the burgeoning video game market
“Told ya comic books was bad for ya.”
–in Dream Child after turning a comic geek victim into a paper cutout and slashing him to ribbons, a reference to the campaign against comic books from the 1950s
“Yeah, what are you on? Looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me. Hey, Spence. Let’s trip out.”
–from the TV to a stoned victim in Freddy's Dead, a mockery of a popular "this is your brain" anti-drug PSA
“Why don’t you call one of your little friends. Maybe they could help… Why don’t you reach out and cut someone.”
–in ANOES 4: TDM, referencing the AT&T ad campaign that asked people to "reach out and touch someone"
Lines where Freddy suddenly snaps and veers off into bizarre (but satisfying) directions.
“I said, ‘WHERE’S THE FUCKING BOURBON?’”
–in Dream Warrior after Kristen’s father asks his wife where the bourbon is and is replaced by a much angrier Freddy version
“Can I ask you something? WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK?”
–in Dream Warrior to Zsa Zsa Gabor while pretending to interview her as Dick Cavett
Lines where Freddy makes a dad joke or purposefully cringey pun that pertains to the scene.
“I believe in you. No pain, no
–in Dream Master while pretending to spot a bench-pressing victim, only to push the barbell down and snap her arms
“Hey, Danny, better not dream and drive.”
–before killing a victim via car crash in Dream Child
“Madam. If I may… Bon apetite, bitch!... Filet de Bar-bie… Open wide… Second helping… you are what you eat.”
–a series of lines from Dream Child delivered while in the form of a snooty French waiter before force feeding his victim
“How’s this for a wet dream?”
–in ANOES (2010) after Nancy falls into a pool of blood, referencing the same line from Dream Master but lacking the contextual elements that made the original great
“Nice try, Nancy. Now let me take a stab.”
–before attacking Nancy in ANOES (2010)
“Bad year, Dan!”
–in Dream Child after tasting the bottle of champagne the victim was bringing to his girlfriend
“Wanna suck face?”
–in Dream Master before grabbing an asthmatic victim and making out with/inhaling her until her entire body deflates like a popped blow-up doll
“What’s wrong, Joey? Feeling tongue-tied?” –
–before shooting giant tongues at Joey that lash his wrists and ankles to a bed frame in Dream Warriors
Lines that incorporate humor, weirdness, and violence to capture the quintessence of what makes Freddy such a compelling villain.
“Mmm, the usual. Rick, you little meatball. I love SOUL food!”
–in Dream Master to a pizza covered in screaming meatballs, one of which he pulls off and eats
“Oh, Carlos. Lend me your ear…. Nice hearing from ya, Carlos.”
–before and after ripping Carlos’s ear off of his head in Freddy's Dead and held up later as a callback when he asks another victim to speak up, due to his “deaf ear”
“How’s this for a wet dream?”
–in Dream Master after bursting out of a water bed that had just contained a sexy naked woman being ogled by the horny dreamer
The Best One
“This is it Jennifer. Your big break in TV. Welcome to prime time, bitch!”
–in Dream Warriors while possessing a television before ramming the head of an aspiring actress through its glass screen, the pinnacle of Krueger lines
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This article originally appeared on VICE US.