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Cry-Baby of the Week: A Woman Allegedly Attacked Someone Because They Farted Near Her

Also this week: A man was arrested after complaining to police that a local newspaper had violated his human rights by posting a photo of him shoplifting.

by Jamie Lee Curtis Taete
Oct 2 2015, 4:15pm

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Jeanelle Callahan

Jeanelle Callahan. Screencap via Google Maps

The incident: A handcuffed woman allegedly farted next to another handcuffed woman in the back of a police van.

The appropriate response: Making a joke about it.

The actual response: The non-farter allegedly attacked the farter.

Jeanelle Callahan, 48, was arrested last Thursday in Clearwater, Florida, for allegedly punching her roommate in the face. She was put into the back of a police van alongside another woman, 60-year-old Virginia Turner, who had been arrested for trespassing.

According to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Callahan "became irate" when Turner farted while sitting next to her and "attempted to strike her left elbow" at Turner, before kicking her in the face. The police report states that Turner did not fight back.

In addition to the charge she was already facing for the attack on her roommate, Callahan was given an extra charge for battery.

Cry-Baby #2: Nicholas Allegretto

Screencap via Google Maps

The incident: A store posted a picture online of a man whom they'd caught shoplifting.

The appropriate response: Not shoplifting if you're not comfortable with that type of exposure.

The actual response: He complained to police that his human rights were being violated.

In February, 23-year-old Nicholas Allegretto attempted to steal a magnet from Mackays, a hardware store in Cambridge, England. He was caught outside the store and made to give the magnet back. He then ran away.

After the incident, the owner of the store took a screencap of Allegretto from the security camera footage and sent it to the local newspaper to print.

Speaking to the Daily Mail, store owner Neil Mackay, said, "[We were] basically saying to him: 'We know who you are, our staff knows who you are, you're not very welcome, thank you very much indeed. We'd rather you didn't come in the store." The image was also posted on social media.

According to Mackay, Allegretto then went to the local police station to complain that his "human rights were being abused."

The Cambridge News reports that Allegretto told police he had lost his job as a roofer and his sister had been bullied at school as a result of the image's publication.

"The police decided they had enough evidence once they looked at the CCTV images to prosecute, and that's what they've done," said Mackay.

Allegretto was charged with theft. He was supposed to appear in court on Wednesday, but didn't show up. He was found guilty in his absence.

"I suppose you could say he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box," said Mackay. Which is a funny thing for him to say, because he owns a tool shop.

Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll right here:

Previously: Some drivers who caused a 40 minute traffic in an argument over right of way vs. a guy who attacked his girlfriend because he was jealous of a dead person.

Winner: The jealous boyfriend.

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.