As copy editor of VICE.com, it's my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and "fuccboi" is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they're good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Often they're about sex. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of May 15. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.
- Pussy don't get you a Tesla, anyway.
- I don't want to do him.
- I'm driving to Rhode Island in a Toyota Camry that's held together with tape.
- I love whores, but not time.
- They don't see me laying on the bed for half an hour going back and forth between squeezing water into my butt and stretching it out.
- You don't even look like my son anymore!
- And that wig has joined her at every public appearance.
- The first day I learned what masturbation was, I actually didn't want to do it anymore.
- After kindly offering me a slightly melted Whole Foods brownie, he took off, inexplicably, to accost tourists.
- So I felt uneasy asking somebody to assist me with sexual activities, too.
- She's supposed to be my girlfriend.
- If you're a New York Times columnist, you can spin complicated scenarios involving the 25th Amendment, which no one has even heard of.
- Then the tree itself found it had a supporter on the street.
- He'd just become the first artist to get himself shot in the name of art.
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