The WBC released an image of the belt that Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor will be duking it out for (in addition to millions of dollars) and it is, uh, something. It has been dubbed the Money Belt and according to the WBC, it is "WITHOUT A QUESTION THE MOST INCREDIBLE UNIQUE PIECE EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF ALL SPORTS" (insane all-caps theirs).
It is certainly INCREDIBLE UNIQUE. Feast your eyes on this, or look away in horror:
We here at VICE Sports have thoughts on this thing, and we're going to hash them out right now.
Liam: Just drink in its sheer wonderment: you have never seen anything more honest in your life. Just in case you forgot what the Mayweather-McGregor fight was all about, the WBC has gifted you the Money Belt. Money. Sure, it's a nod to their solidarity with Floyd "Money" Mayweather—and yes, you could argue that all sporting events are cash grabs—but every intricate detail points to the outright bombast of the event. The slaughter of a reptile to give it some weird Tarzan vibes, the diamonds-per-square-foot ratio that basically spells out "blood conflict" in subliminal messages, the inaccurate representation of every country on the belt, as if this were a culminating international moment as opposed to a 13-year-old fight enthusiast's wet imaginings of two guys from two different countries who shouldn't be fighting each other in the first place. There is truth in its ridiculousness.
Not to mention that the color scheme is pretty fresh: the sharp gold vs. turquoise contrast, and the subtle sapphires vs. diamonds shift. The chaos of each part kind of neutralizes itself. This is the kind of thing that'd make me bleed to death after sewing it for Mardi Gras for seven months straight (not like I'd have the budget for it). I'm feeling this belt—would definitely wear it on an outing to TGIFridays.
Sean: I've been staring at this thing for a while now. I can't say that I know much about title belts—I seem to recall Rocky's belt having some sort of patriotic bunting embedded in it, that's about it—but I feel strongly that this is one of the ugliest things I've ever seen. In the spirit of fairness, I would first like to point out the aspects of this belt that do not make me want to throw up, so I would like to applaud the WBC's efforts to promote inclusion and feature dozens of tiny international flags.
And, uh… well, that's it. Good job.
Surrounding those flags is, in the typography of the WBC, "CROCODILE LEATHER." Because this belt was made, that means there is at least one 75-year-old man with a pencil mustache, fedora, and two-sizes-too-big suit walking around with no shoes. I'm honestly not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing; I wish neither existed, honestly.
Within the ring of flags, there are lots of precious jewels. Diamonds, sapphires, and the McGregor-appropriate emeralds. Have you ever wanted a loud-as-fuck belt with 4,020 jewels on it? Well, you can probably get it at a local pawn shop when Floyd has to settle up his tax bill in a couple months.
And then we have the Oscar statue, giving a victorious fist pump, off-center and surrounded by another ring of flags. All these elements combine to recreate the experience of staring at one of those Magic Eye picture books for hours.
I hope these guys knock each other out at the exact same time and this thing gets thrown in the trash.