Broadly DK

Professional Witches Explain How to Use Magic to Make Money

As capitalism crumbles, why not turn to witchcraft for a little cash?
April 4, 2017, 3:38pm

It's a depressing time to be young, to be sure. Spiraling house prices ensure only the most fortunate get to be mortgage prisoners. The rest of us ship our possessions from one miserable house-share to the next, only communicating with our roommates through passive-aggressive notes on a smelly shared fridge or the occasional psychotic text message.

And let's not even talk about flat wage growth, the gig economy steamrollering through long-fought-for worker rights like an app-controlled locomotive full of douchebag tech bros, and rampant corporate avarice unraveling the regulations put in place to safeguard us from another financial crisis.

Whatever. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing out my days in a subterranean housing facility making iPhones for our corporate overlords in lieu of actually being able to retire and masturbate to feminist porn in a nursing home. At least everyone else will be as miserable and deranged as me!

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