This Lionel Messi guy might be a good idea to put in as a starter, it turns out. After suffering a back injury at the beginning of Copa America, there were concerns that the (disputably?) best player in the history of existence would be absent from the 100-year anniversary of South America's big tournament in the US. But he started to warm up, and goddamn—we're calculating his heat in degrees Kelvin right now.Gonzalo Higuain opened the scoring early after a peach of a ball from Leo Messi . #ARGvVEN #MyCopaColors https://t.co/bmtWfkSZ6M
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 18, 2016
Advertisement
And then, after playing enough of a background character, Messi wanted to put one in himself, and goddamn, was it pretty. A give and go for a wide open shot on the keeper. Nothing can be more demoralizing than staring Messi down in the face with an 8-yard-wide net behind you.Gonzalo Higuain's second of the night inside 30 minutes gives Argentina a 2-goal cushion. #ARGvVEN #MyCopaColors https://t.co/C1Vy4EZm2W
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 18, 2016
What was Venezuela (did I mention there was a team trying to play against Argentina?) bringing to the table?Leo Messi moves level with Gabriel Batistuta as Argentina's all-time leading goalscorer. #ARGvVEN #MyCopaColors https://t.co/gKnUDYVtDG
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 19, 2016
Gotta stop watering down that sauce, Venezuela. The score ended up 4-1 after a Venezuela nudged the ball in, but one goal against four? Onward and upward for Argentina. Good luck against the USMNT in the next round, Messi. (Author nervously cries into a red, white, and blue pillow.)Is this the worst Panenka penalty attempt ever? #ARGvVEN #MyCopaColors https://t.co/YGzpgwJ31u
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 19, 2016