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Sports

Mario Balotelli Scores Again, Is Alive

Every time you think you're out, he pulls you back in.

If you're wondering where the hell Mario Balotelli is these days, the answer is France and, specifically, perennial midtable side OGC Nice. He arrived at the end of this summer's transfer window because no other club would have him, and even Nice themselves refused to shell out a penny for a striker who appeared thoroughly washed up at 26.

To wit, over his last two seasons—first at Liverpool, then on loan at Milan (who initially sold Balotelli to the Scousers in 2014)—the once-presumed savior of the Italian national team scored exactly two goals across 36 appearances. This is an objectively bad total and his market value wasn't exactly aided by Balotelli being, well, Mario Balotelli. The enduring lesson: Clubs will pay big for in-form assholes and pay something for out-of-form nice guys, but nobody pays for an out-of-form asshole.

So there wasn't much in the way of expectations going into this But, lo and behold, Balotelli has resurfaced. He bagged a brace in his Nice debut and scored another goal today while squaring off against the permanently crocked Radamel Falcao in a battle of diminished number nines:

Mario Balotelli Scores !!! Makes it 2-0 For Nice against Monaco!! pic.twitter.com/X4SlxvJQFo
— ItalianFootballTV (@IFTV_Official) September 21, 2016

Do the math, and Balotelli has now scored more goals in two games than he had the last two seasons. The French league is a notch below Serie A in competitiveness, which means it's at least two down from the English Premier League. Still, it's something, which means that everyone's least favorite failed Italian soccer hero may not be totally washed up just yet.

Three cheers for surpassing modest expectations!