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Filibustin' with Willie D - Politicians Playing Tricks on Me

It doesn't seem like it, but politics can be a big moneymaker for assholes.
July 2, 2012, 10:15pm

If someone you know took a job that paid them a fraction of their annual income and made them vulnerable to public scrutiny, you might tell them to get their head examined. However, in politics, where truth is stranger than fresh produce in the ghetto, this kind of stuff is commonplace.

In 2008, then presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s estimated net worth was $799,000. That’s a nice chunk of change. But it’s crumbs compared to the $36 million his former opponent John McCain had the year they ran against each other, or the $230 million boasted by his current rival, Mitt Romney. Why in the hell would a guy like Mitt, who has enough money to literally travel to space and still have like $30 million left in change, sign up for a gig that only pays $400,000 a year and is arguably the most stressful, demanding, and personally invasive job in the world? To gain insight on the matter you only need to follow the paper trail called conflict of interest.

There are some Honest Abe politicians out there, but just like good cops, they are too few and far between to impact the systematic corruption in their profession. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with politicians taking advantage of perks like groupie-love and skipping the line at the club. But it shouldn’t go beyond that.

Getting your palms greased under the guise of campaign contributions and kickbacks by major corporations, individuals, and organizations in consideration for supporting their policies or interests is the universal cost of doing business in politics. And by the way, it’s not a crime unless you get caught or ratted out. Ask former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

I have a song that I have yet to record called, “Can’t Knock My Hustle,” and I stand by that creed, but not at the expense of innocent people. I wonder how many people are killed each year as a result of the toxic chemicals that are purposely injected into our food and water supply. The low-down cocksuckers in Congress and the folks who work for the FDA should be shot for taking payoffs and looking the other way when corporations poison us and add to the epidemic of chronic diseases.

Perhaps the biggest clan of violators and poster boys for political corruption in the history of politics are the Bush family. Their investment and consultant ties to companies who are in the business of war, like Halliburton **and the **Carlyle Group, have made them wealthy beyond belief. Former Vice President Dick Chaney didn’t do so bad either. He resigned from Halliburton in 2000 with a $33.7 million retirement package for five years of work. Despite hundreds of thousands of lost lives, Iraq being propelled into a civil war, and the US falling into a recession, the Bushes and their cronies managed to turn a profit. In other words, folks; war is big business for assholes.

To stop the gravy train for corrupt politicians and restore the power back to the people, it will take a legislative revolution and I’m prepared to draw the first blood.

WILLIE D’S PLAN

The government needs to employ an Eliot Ness-style Chief Investigator to enforce integrity within Congress. They could assign 20 of the most highly skilled investigators to his team and call them The New Untouchables. To lower the temptation of being compromised by bribes and other influences, agents will be paid well and they will have to agree to submit to random drug tests, psychological evaluations, and wiretapping. Corruption amongst agents will be viewed as tantamount to treason—the punishment will be a firing squad.

Local politicians will be subject to the same scrutiny by their local branch of The New Untouchables. If any politician is found to be unethical, not only do they lose their job and risk jail time, they will also have to wear a pink face tattoo of a rat.

While lobbyists will be banned from procreating and raising money for political candidates. There will also be a cap imposed on big-money donors.

If Americans are serious about cleaning up Washington, they would be wise to follow my lead and stop being suckers for the pompous fat pigs in Congress who act like they’re for the little guy but are really only concerned with padding their pockets.

Previously -  Super PACs Make Some Terrible Political Ads

Willie D is a member of the legendary rap group the Geto Boys.

Follow him on Twitter: @WillieDLIVE