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The Girls Issue

Canary Birds

They're inspired by Judy Garland and RuPaul, who woulda guessed?

PHOTOS BY ELIN UNNES

BELINDA Vice: Where do you work?
Belinda: I’m the head presenter at the Café La Belles in Playa Del Ingles, Gran Canaria. I work seven nights a week. Who is your favourite girl?
My mum, because she’s a strong woman. And Judy Garland, because she has had to struggle. She got a break really young in life, and then had to struggle through the rest of it. How have they affected your life?
They’ve made me strong. How do you like your job?
I love it. Love it, it’s the best. I like talking to people. I’m nosy you see. I like to find out things about people. What kind of things do you find out?
Everything, darling. Anything shocking?
I’ve been doing this for 10 years, there’s nothing left out there that can shock me anymore.

MICHAEL Vice: Do you like your job?
Michael: I like it, but it’s not what I came here for. I was terrible at it at first. I’m still not doing it completely, dropping dicks and what not. What do you think of women in general?
I love women! Women like Stella McCartney. I used to work for her you know, I was her trainer. But really I’m a tap dancer. That didn’t work out, I was broke, and I got offered this job. What’s your favourite song to dance to?
“Five Months, Two Weeks, Two Days.” It’s a swing number. My grand finale tonight will be “It Should Have Been Me.” That’s where I’m dressed in a wedding dress, and I come out on roller-skates. And then I go around slapping all the women in the audience who are there with men, because you know, “it should have been me.” It’s very popular.

VYWETTE Vice: Where do you work?
Vywette: This place, Vywette’s, is owned by a couple of friends of mine from London. They decided to get a place of their own, to have something to come to when they retire. They asked me to be the main drag queen. Who is your favourite girl?
I don’t have one. My favourite drag queen is RuPaul. She’s just so glamorous and tall and her costumes are good. Are drag queens bitchy?
I’m what you call a nice drag queen. I don’t take the piss. I’m not nasty. Or I’m not afraid to take the piss out of myself. I’ll get my tits out and I’ll throw them at people. Some drag queens won’t do that. They don’t want to ruin the illusion of perfection. Would you ever move back to London?
Oh honey, I wouldn’t last five minutes over there!

SKYE Vice: Who is your favourite girl?
Skye: I’d have to say Sandra Bernhard. She’s just hysterical, isn’t she? And she’s fabulous, just gorgeous, and she can play any role. I kind of see similarities…
My character is built on my friends, the girls I’ve been out dancing with. We’re kind of prim and proper but when you get talking to us we can be a bit naughty. What do you think of women in general?
They’re just fab! It’s the whole thing with getting dressed up, and the shoes—lady’s shoes. They can change your whole character. I have a pair of leopard skin high heels downstairs and when I put them on they change me. You all work a lot…
Yeah, but it’s worth it. This place, Café La Belles, and Vywette’s are the best-paid places on the whole island.