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Soccer Player Who Thanked His Wife and His Girlfriend Now Says He Calls His Daughter His Girlfriend

Mohammed Anas thanked both his wife and his girlfriend after being named Man of the Match. He then came up with a pretty interesting excuse.

The mafia had a lot of rules, most made to be broken, but always one held fast and true for the wiseguys' self-preservation:

Saturday night is for wives; Friday night is for girlfriends.

Poor can't-keep-his-betrothed-from-his-Goomah-shit-straight Ghanaian striker Mohammed Anas completely botched the "never these two paths shall cross" commandment, in spectacular fashion, and is totally in Dutch with the wife.

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After accepting the Man of the Match award for his performance for Free State Stars against Ajax Cape Town in South Africa's Soccer Premier League, Anas thanked both of the lovely ladies in his life. At least one of whom was presumably unaware that her husband was going between the sticks on another pitch.

Here's Anas falling all over himself:

"Thank you for this, I appreciate my fans,also. My wife and my girlfriend…I mean my wife, yeah, sorry to say…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, my wife…I love you so much, I love you so much from my heart, so…"

I know what you're thinking, maybe Anas and his wife are forward-thinking 21st-century polyamorous types, down with whatever and not beholden to the old country sexual mores.

Nah. He's a dog, but give our man credit for trying to muddy the waters to the point of insanity, the rhetorical farce equal of Diego Maradona in the 1986 World Cup. Anas tried claiming he calls his wife his girlfriend, which nobody bought, so he threw this out there on CNN:

"My family knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That's what I was talking about. I don't have a girlfriend."

Not anymore you don't, Anas. Not if you know what's good for you