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Major Lazer’s Very Brief Guide to the Entire World

The morning after a secret set, we asked the monumentally hungover bastard dancehall boys to tell us where they drink, dance and buy shit.

by Angus Harrison
Mar 9 2015, 3:10pm

This article originally appeared on Noisey UK.

When I join Major Lazer, in a parliamentary looking room of their hotel, they’re recovering. The night before they had squashed themselves into the modestly sized Victoria pub in Dalston to play a surprise DJ set that, by all accounts, popped the fuck off. As Diplo tells me from behind his sunglasses, “We played like six tracks from the new album and then we played a load of club stuff and it went crazy—everyone just went mad for it.” Now it’s Eggs Benedict and a tub of vitamins that are getting them through.

The release of new Major Lazer is pretty damn exciting. During a radio interview in Mumbai, Diplo revealed they’ve knocked up two albums worth of material—the first of which will be released imminently. Then there’s the reveal of the collaborators—in the past they've managed to eclectically pull off Vybz Cartel, Ezra Koenig, and Bruno Mars on the same album without sounding like a jarring mess—and it seems that their newest churn will be no different, as Diplo begins reeling off their acquisitions this time around, “We’ve got Ellie Goulding, Pusha T, Wild Belle, Chronixx from Jamaica, Iggy Azalea, Ariana Grande, Gwen Stefani, and a bunch of other people.”

Safe to say, with a surplus of Usher in the bank, and having dropped their new single “Lean On” at the start of this month, Diplo, Jillionaire and Walshy Fire have started the process of reintroducing the non-stop cartoon sound-system that is Major Lazer, to the world. And along with playing huge shows everywhere from Kingston to Madrid, they have accrued along the way an enviable knowledge of the best secret bars and hidden shoe shops on this dear planet.

Luckily, because we are thoughtful, we took the time to ask them for their favourite spots on earth, and here’s where they took us...

Continues below

BEST PLACE FOR COCKTAILS

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Diplo: There’s this dope cocktail bar I went to in New York, where the guy was all dressed up as a chemist.
Jillionaire: It’s called Apotheke (pictured above). It’s crazy, there is a secret Mexican restaurant downstairs, and it looks like an old pharmacy from the outside. There is also a really crazy place in Buenos Aires, where you get given a phone number, then you go into the phone booth, dial in the number and then the phone booth opens up and you go in to this huge bar. I have to drink in secret places so my mum doesn’t find out.

BEST PLACE TO BE WITH A HANGOVER

D: Vegas because you can get intravenous for like 50 bucks. They can just bring one to your room. Blood transfusion.

WEIRDEST CLUB IN THE WORLD

D: Soundgarden Hall is like an all ages, open door, BYOB club. It should be illegal but the Russian mafia own it and the police are selling the drugs... I think. Philly is like New York in the 80s now. I mean, there are still shops where you can get blowjobs.

BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD

J: I’ve been to so many clubs now, they’ve just become one big giant club with some girl smoking backstage. For me Output, they have really good line ups. It’s in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
D: We’re always going to love XS in Vegas (pictured).
J: XS turns all the way up.

BEST PLACE FOR BURGERS

Walshy Fire: I ate a kangaroo burger in Sydney. [Editor's note: This is the only thing Walshy says during the entire interview]

BEST PLACE FOR SHOES

J: Best place to get sneakers is in Warsaw Sneaker Market (pictured above) in Poland, and the best place to get shoes is in Capetown, South Africa—hidden at the back of a bookstore. I can’t tell you where though.
D: I made a shoe out of bat wings once.

BEST CROWDS IN THE WORLD

(Photo by Will Coutts)

J: Everywhere. Kids just want to turn up.
D: Miami, Jamaica, India, Toronto, Trinidad, Caribbean, Tokyo, anywhere in Australia, Antarctica, South America, France, Spain, England, the bottom of the ocean, Panama, Prison.

BEST BRIDAL SHOP (DIPLO’S SUGGESTION)

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D: David’s is good, but it’s a chain. As long as they are going to get your lifestyle and what you’re wedding is about, that’s the most important thing.
J: I’m feeling like Vera Wang wedding sweatpants.
D: Being able to experiment.
J: Let you be you.
D: Even if you are just re-doing your vows, it’s important to swag it up.

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