According to the rules of life, something remarkably stupid has to happen every half-minute. So it goes without saying that, vocal quartet The Tenors are not exempt to this rule and decided, in fact, to fully embody it. During the opening moments of last night's Major League Baseball’s All-Star game in San Diego one member took it upon himself to remix the “O Canada” lyrics mid-way through with an incredibly appropriate inclusion of #AllLivesMatter. As we all know, supporters of ALM—a term which snidely attempts to undercut the violent and unlawful treatment of blacks from police—are tone deaf in all facets of life so it’s not a surprise this extends the music. However, since this IS a music site and you all will complain about, “Dude, I don't come to Noisey for this,” we’ve decided it best to outline the troubled thought process behind this one man’s decision using, what else, pop bands.
Since the dawn of time, there’s a documented legacy of that one person in a respective group who has no chill and is ready to hit the jig at any moment. You have Bobby Brown from New Edition, LaTavia Roberson of Destiny’s Child and two-thirds of 3LW. The Tenor member in question, Remigio Pereira, also falls into this trajectory. However, Pereira’s best parallel is JC Chasez of N’SYNC. For those who don’t know, Chasez was the tall, dark, handsome one of the group; the leader of sorts who you could tell through subsequent videos saw a career for himself that extended beyond the life of the group. It’s clear Pereira also feels this way; bristling for a chance at stardom, to go viral, and make his political statement. Look closely at his attire; the glossy garbage-bag skinned suit compared to everyone’s boring but fitting formal wear. He’s ready to break. He blocked out all the intelligent musings against ALM on the internet that day so he could be focused. And inevitably pulls on the great spiritual embers of "Knuck If You Buck" by just fucking up everything, body and mind, in the immediate vicinity with “We're all brothers and sisters / All lives matter to the great." For emphasis, Pereira pulls up his flashcard to show solidarity... in his racism. It’s at this moment where the energy shifts in the stadium..
Look at dude second left, the tall, handsome man who is clearly being positioned by management as the actual one to go solo... the Justin Timberlake in this scenario. It’s unclear if he shares Pereira’s twisted political leanings but he has the decency to understand dude fucked up the whole song. ‘This ain’t yo moment cuz’ he tries to say telepathically to Pereira but it’s a loss. He's too busy filtering out all that bullshit because he knows this is his moment. If you listen closely you can hear a couple people cheering for this ALM fuckery so now Pereira is feeling relieved. His actions are co-signed, he's won. This is not unlike Chasez who also thought he made the right decision when he decided to go solo during N'SYNC's hiatus with the single “Blowin’ Me Up (With Her Love).” It was the least interesting thing about the Drumline soundtrack that slowly rose through the charts. Now, to circle back to Pereira, this is the best part, watch closely as that brief moment of triumph completely vanishes as the cheers recede. The small crowd that supported him goes quiet. Likely because they realized they were in the company of other black and coloured audience members and allies and figured it best to shut the fuck up real quick. These people are much like the small group of fans who came out to purchase Chasez’s equally problematically titled debut Schizophrenia before being shamed by their peers and decided it best not to support the project in subsequent weeks. As a result the album bombed, peaking at #17 on Billboard and selling 121,000 copies in total. A far cry from the last N'SYNC album and let’s not forget, people bought records then.
Nevertheless, irrelevance is the last common theme they will probably share. For Pereira, an apology was sent out on The Tenors’ official twitter stating that he “will not be performing with The Tenors until further notice” with the artist himself following up with an eloquently foolish series of explantions for his actions. Meanwhile in the case of Chasez, some of you are likely just realizing there was someone in N'SYNC besides Timberlake and that other guy who keeps finding clever ways to finesse his last name into everything. Sometimes life balances out.
Jabbari Weekes says fuck #AllLivesMatter and he is the Noisey Canada Editor. He’s also black so he won. Follow or slander him on Twitter.