Photo via RiFF RAFF's Instagram
Chunky boy, peach suit-wearer, aspiring pro wrestler, James Franco-inspirer, poet, and occasional music-maker RiFF RAFF should, by rights, be exhausted by now. But the man is a creative, a restless individual whose mind teems constantly with the flow of new ideas. He is the walking embodiment of an unbelievable story. “Hey,” you say to your friends all the time, “did you know that RiFF RAFF is consuming a heroic amount of food every day and working out with Hulk Hogan whenever he isn’t eating?” “No,” your friend responds, “that cannot be true. RiFF RAFF may be a peach suit-wearer, but he is no bodybuilder or pro wrestler.” “Hush,” you respond, raising one finger to your lips and confidently pulling your iPhone from your pocket. “Observe.”
Well, now RIFF RAFF is starting an eight-piece country band and he wants you to join it. There’s no way to dress that up, no suggestion that it’s a hoax, and no way of dancing around the fact. RiFF RAFF is starting a country band. RIFF RAFF wants you to join that country band. RiFF RAFF wears Garth Brooks tees now. RiFF RAFF is calling his new country album Truck Stuff & Butterscotch Butts. RiFF RAFF does not accept covers.
“RiFF RAFF may be a bodybuilder or pro wrestler,” you’re probably saying right now, “but he is no aspiring country musician.” Wrong. Look:
So there it is. Leave your job, tell your boss you’re sick, there are more important things to do now. Go write the title track to Truck Stuff & Butterscotch Butts. Don’t die wondering. Maybe you could write one track called “Truck Stuff” and another called “Butterscotch Butts.” You could pitch it as a double album. The possibilities are almost literally endless.
Alex Robert Ross really hopes you don’t take that idea for the double album, that’s his idea and he’s got the byline to prove it. Follow him on Twitter.