All photos via Snapchat
In a landmark achievement for music videos, social media, and culture as a whole, PARTYNEXTDOOR has premiered his video for "Come and See Me" exclusively on Snapchat. Somehow no one on Rap Internet has managed to figure out a way to rip this thing online because, again, this is wholly unprecedented. We at Noisey Canada recognize the importance of this moment so we've committed to using the power of our unlimited verbiage (and artful screengrabs) to paint the picture for everyone who can't see the video.
We open on a wide shot of a mansion in what's presumably Calabasas, a name much easier to spell and pronounce than Party's native Mississauga. Kylie Jenner fails to make a call to her long suspected beau, PND. Cut to title.
We cut to a restaurant that might be the mythical Fring's. Everyone is there. Big Sean and Jhene Aiko–who are most definitely NOT dating so don't get any funny ideas about them sitting on a couch together–as well as secret rap overlord OB O'Brien coolly playing pool because isn't that what OB does? Anyway, no Drake yet.
"PND's hair is reminiscent of the skin of a pineapple. Quote me on that." - Jabbari Weekes, Noisey Canada Editor
Things get more moody as Kylie broods while staring at leaves in the rain and Party plays piano. Drake is, sadly, not there to join him in a duet between sensitive bros. A bro-et, if you will.
In an incredibly meta moment, Kylie checks a Snapchat video... while in a Snapchat video.
Kylie plugs her lip kit repeatedly. One third of this three-minute video is definitely a very lowkey King Kylie Collection ad. PND just there for (lip) filler.
At long last, our star-crossed couple meet in the downpour and make the fuck out. It's the new Spider-Man kiss but almost way creepier! Drake finally shows up but, bafflingly, he ends up as a brief sax solo at the end. I wish I was joking (I don't).
Cut to black. It's done. We're out. Come and see us when the video gets uploaded somewhere.
UPDATE: It got uploaded somewhere.
UPDATE 2: The official video is out. Watch it below. Thanks for playing, y'all.
Phil Witmer is a Noisey Canada staff writer and as a Mississaugan, this is definitely his fault. Follow him on Twitter.