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​Suburban Alberta MP Resigns

Best of luck in your future endeavours, Stephen J. Harper.

Farewell, sweet prince. Photo via CP.

Stephen J. Harper, Member of Parliament for Calgary Heritage and noted recluse, announced he would be resigning his seat on Friday.

The long-time MP and noted pleated slack enthusiast announced the news over Facebook, broadcasting not-live from Parliament's historic Chair Room.

Alone with his chairs, the politician bid farewell to his Calgarians, said goodbye to his fellow Canadians, and bid adieu to his $170,400 salary.

Harper, in recent months, had rarely been seen outside of his office. Apart from the occasional cries of the damned emanating from his fifth-floor office, the entire hallway leading to his door—and the service elevator that he would frequently take to the back entrance of Parliament, so as to avoid curious onlookers—was quiet.

The Calgary Heritage MP was popular within the party but often had a hard time connecting with non-Albertans.

The local politician is now set to set up an international consulting firm, where he will advise foreign leaders on how to do politics good, like he did.

Harper, the Harper in Harper & Associates Consulting, will be joined by his Associates — Jeremy Hunt and Ray Novak.

Those two men are no slouches. They used to work for the prime minister of Canada.

According to Hunt's LinkedIn page, his skills include 'Politics,' 'Public Policy,' and 'Government,' while Novak once lived above Harper's garage. So Harper has two employees who will definitely government well.

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