Image via YouTube
Smash Mouth is a sentient goatie known for hit songs like âAll Starâ and several other movie-montage-friendly gems. Not only did âAll Starâ come out in 1999, weâre pretty sure 1999 wouldnât exist as a period in time without âAll Star.â The music video features Ben Stiller, Dane Cook, and cargo pants. âAll Starâ is as late-90s as a Jar Jar Binks porn parody downloaded from Napster. In much the same way, the song is trauma burned onto our collective memories and deflates any sense of sexual arousal when recalled.âAll Starââthe myth, the meme, the legendâis simply the greatest song to soundtrack your favourite (???) movie. Its lyrics are a motion pictureâone that tells the story of human struggle throughout the ages. As Karl Marx once said, âSomebody once told me the world is gonna roll me.âCompelled by Pizza Pocket-induced flashbacks, I put together a definitive list (this is itâthe only list to ever matter) of the greatest films that use Smash Mouthâs âAll Star.â From Shrek to Rat Race, these pieces of cinema capture the essence of âAll Starâ and therefore the essence of life itself. But is there something more here? For while philosophers debate over the meaning of life, it was Smash Mouth that said, âWell, the years start coming and they don't stop coming.â For me, though, the conspiracies start coming and they don't stop coming when it comes to "All Star" and its infiltration into pop culture.âAll Starâ is the Shrek song. The Shrek franchise centres around a farting, eye-ball eating, antisocial monster who has to learn how to love. âAll Starâ is pretty much about the same thing. Check out these lyrics straight from the (smash) mouth of lead singer Steven Harwell:
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little changeDude doesnât give a hot damn about helping someone in need. Harwell is basically shouting, âMy swamp!â at a lovable donkeyâs face.Remember that scene in Rat Race when Jon Lovitz and his family accidentally steal Hitlerâs car, and then Lovitz transforms into the fĂŒhrer through a slapstick accident? Remember how we thought it was was funny because it was 2001 and nazism was still mostly used in popular culture as a cartoonish prop to represent evil? Good times. Smash Mouth has a cameo during the end credits of Rat Race, as if âAll Starâ is used to bookmark this simpler life, when tiki torches were just nice things.This one makes the most sense. If youâre going to force enslaved monsters to fight each other to death, âAll Starâ is the obvious soundtrack. Digimon (the digital monsters, not to be confused with analogue variety) are essentially modeled to represent the lyrics of the Smash Mouth anthem. Donât believe us? Check out this irrefutable scientific evidence found in this photo of Gabumon, one of the Digimon creatures:That, people of this fine court, is the ââthe shape of an âLâ on her forehead.âMystery Men is about a bunch of reject superheroes who have to band together to save a city. They have powers, like the ability to throw a bowling ball, and getting angry and lame stuff. Ben Stiller is in it. These were different times. Other than the fact that âAll Starâ is featured in the soundtrack, and Mystery Men is a key franchise tie-in within the âAll Starâ music video, I canât possibly see how else this movie would be connected to the âAll Starâ universe theory. Ha! This idea is as good as a fart in the wind.Wait ⊠farts. Of course! In Mystery Men, Paul Reubens character, Spleen, has the power of super farts. Shrek also has the ability to kill things with his farts, as seen in the opening credits of Shrek, an opening scene which of course features the song âAll Star.âItâs an obvious clue, as if Smash Mouth wanted us to see this all along. But see what exactly? What are you hiding, Smash Mouth?There is something here. Inspector Gadget is a detective, of course, which is an obvious cue from Smash Mouth to investigate these seemly arbitrary connections. After several breakdowns, we almost gave up hope of linking Inspector Gadget to the âAll Starâ universe, but then we found this:Damning stuff. The 1999 Inspector Gadget movie features Matthew Broderick and Rupert Everett. This was one of Everettâs best roles. Other notable parts heâs played include Prince Charming in Shrek 2 and Shrek the Third. Furthermore, Cheri Oteri, who is in Inspector Gadget, is also known for her voice work in Shrek the Third as Sleeping Beauty. Well, we arenât sleeping. Weâre woke now.All of these secrets, hiding in plain sight this whole time. Itâs obvious when you take the whole thing in. The movies; the song; the fact that Inspector Gadget is a character that can produce tools and things from his body and wears a khaki-coloured trench coat. What else holds a lot of things and is khaki-coloured? Thatâs right: Smash Mouth is a media plant from the Big Cargo Pants industry.
What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Of course it does because meaning is everything! Smash Mouth and "All Star" deeply matter. Weâre pretty sure this research piece has unlocked a massive conspiracy, opening a gateway to a secret âAll Starâ universe hidden throughout these films of the late 90s and 2000s. Maybe Hollywood was too lazy produce scenes of genuine feelings of joy, so they opted to fill the silence with Smash Mouth?Devin Pacholik is afraid. Heâs breaking the mold on Twitter.
Advertisement
Shrek
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little changeDude doesnât give a hot damn about helping someone in need. Harwell is basically shouting, âMy swamp!â at a lovable donkeyâs face.
Advertisement
Rat Race
Digimon: The Movie
Mystery Men
Advertisement