These Five Smart People Won Halloween By Taking Our DJ Costume Advice

Last week, before a long weekend of Halloween parties and two hours of a hazy slumber tore through whatever soul I managed to have left, I assembled a last-minute costume guide for dressing like your favorite DJ to help stop the scourge of a dusty, one-eyed Freddy Krueger masks and slutty cat costume that have plagued this holiday every year since the debate between vinyl and MP3 began many, many turntables ago.

I expected my costume guide to elicit a mixture of laughs and the usual vitriolic spewage of garbage hate tweets from haters with either a Music On logo or an egg as their avatar, who flood my mentions every time I poke fun at people's most prized track selectors. What I did not expect, however, was for a select, very special few to take the guide somewhat seriously and put liters of fake blood, sweat, and the tears of a Berghain-rejectee into the far-fetched, ridiculous costume ideas I suggested—painting on under eye bags to exhaustive perfection so they could be Ricardo Villalobos, or spending half of their life savings on cotton balls that they glued on their bodies to be the human embodiment of Lee Burridge's cloud.

These five people are living proof that you can look and feel like a superstar DJ for a night without actually spending years sending poor quality promos to narcissistic label managers, or opening for SoundCloud one-hit wonders in unventilated basements all over the country.

The Skrillex is a classic, but rarely is it done well. Ever since his meteoric rise to stardom, fans have been trying to replicate this look by shaving off half of their heads (ugh), even when it's not Halloween. This ostume is OK, but not great. The hair isn't nearly as greasy as the real Sonny Moore's, but the actual side of the head that's shaved makes up for it with points for good effort. As for the FitBit on this person's wrist, I'm not sure Skrillex would actually wear one, as I imagine him saying something like, "Nah man, I don't need to track my fitness. I know I get enough of an ab workout just from cracking up to the screenshots Diplo sends me of his fans tweeting him things like 'FUCK ME WITH THAT SEXY ASS BODY DADDY.'" The Beats by Dre headphones, however, are a nice touch—despite the fact that they're terrible, made of flimsy plastic, and anybody who uses them deserves a lifetime of walking away from their laptop forgetting that the headphone jack is still firmly plugged in.

Rating: 5/10 ghost producers

Here we have two people who deserve all the accolades this cruel world has to offer. Some may argue that she looks like a tampon without a string or a couch cushion without a case, but this lovely lady is actually a cloud. I repeat: she is a fucking cloud! I assume many cotton balls were harmed in the making of this costume. As for her friend on the right, he's dressed as the cloud's supervisor and creator: Lee Burridge. I see the look he's going for with the oversized headphones on his ears and the signature Lee sunglasses, but his black v-neck is giving me more of a "Minus showcase in a black hole under the Berlin U-Bahn" as opposed to an "All Day I Dream of rainbow unicorns in the hills of San Francisco" kind of vibe. The costume would've been perfect if he swapped the black for a sequin shirt, the sweatshirt for a shawl, and set the mood with some burning sage in the near distance.

Rating: 7.5/10 ghost producers

Can you tell who this guy is? If you said Tommie Sunshine's weird cousin, sorry, you're wrong. If you guessed Damian Lazarus, congratulations! You win a steampunk compass and an aged drink ticket in a bottle made up of DJ Tennis' hardened plasma. The eccentric black and gold silk wizard cape, the voluminous strap-on beard, and the top hat makes for an unforgettable Damian Lazarus costume. His pose signifies that he's trying to cast a spell on something—probably a change of scenery, as it appears this picture was taken at the end of a Mets game or a knock-off Insomniac event somewhere in Southern California gone awry.

Rating: 8/10 ghost producers

This Ricardo Villalobos costume, done exceedingly well by the man on the right, is a work of art. Although he is missing Villalobos' infamous fanny pack, everything else is flawlessly executed, including the dark, gaunt appearance of his under eye bags, the sweat stains placed perfectly on his upper chest, the length and wetness of his sweat-soaked hair, and the angle at which the arm is touching the imaginary turntable. The only thing separating this guy from the real Ricardo is the fact that Ricardo would never wear purple jeans.

Rating: 9/10 ghost producers

This look is my absolute favorite because I can't tell if the person is joking or not. This person is clearly not crafty, as you can tell by the scribbling of Marshmello's messy eyes and lopsided, banana-shaped mouth. But this person clearly doesn't give a fuck, and that's why I love it. He or she utilized their laziness, and it's evident they threw something together extremely last minute. Look at the poorly constructed helmet and the pen sitting idly in the corner, waiting for somebody else to pick it up and use it properly. I don't even see a pair of scissors to cut out the eyes and mouth to glue onto the head; they probably just gave up and taped it. This person won Halloween—that is, if the costume ever made it off the dining room table and out of the house.

Rating: 10/10 ghost producers

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