If we asked you to tell us what you thought the most important holiday is, here at VICE Canada HQ, you’d probably spout back some hateful garbage like “Halloween, so you can dress up as someone cool!” because the lot of you are mean trolls who don’t actually like anything and we truly do love you for that. However, if you’re really looking for the correct answer to our non-rhetorical question, you may be surprised to hear that the most sacred day of the year to us is International Women’s Day—and it’s coming up this Friday.If you remember how we covered International Women’s Day last year, and we’re not sure how you could forget, we asked for “a Drake piñata full of vacations and bourbon” and we more or less got it. So along with our never-ending battle to make a Ray Charles out of the male-gaze, while also taking back the night (forever), here’s a comprehensive list of VICE Canada’s womyn’s wishes. The stakes have never been higher. Consider this both a “you’re welcome” and a “head’s up” and without further ado:THE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY WISH LIST FOR THE WOMEN OF VICE CANADA- All of Drake’s Shopper’s Optimum Points.
- An apology from Drake to the women of the world.
- For this type of dismissive behavior re: sexual assaults from Canadian Police to stop. It’s not about being a “good samaritan,” but rather a cry for “anyone with a fucking conscience” to step their game up.
- A 2-4 of Budweiser.
- Money.
- A nail polish shade that was not named by a man imitating what he thinks a successful, sassy business woman who doesn’t take any guff would say i.e. IRIS I WAS THINNER
- Signed photos of all our heroes (hint: some might be dead, one might be Tom Cochrane).
- The sweaty, Hudson’s Bay blanket turned tennis shirt fresh off the back of Canadian tennis superstar Milos Raonic.
- To know a ghost.
- A bunch of Kraft caramels.
- A separate bunch of Ah Caramel!s.
- For the guy from The Weeknd to stop appropriating Tracy Chapman. She is an angel
- A tractor ride.
- For you not to make up any weird sexual connotations about our “tractor ride” request.
- For the Marshall amp refrigerator people to send us that goddamn fridge already.
- For Sun News, the controversial contemporary art collective, to use their power for good and help out with our “good samaritan” sexual abuse beef.
- Tickets to the musical Cats, now returning to Toronto.
- To know the sound of Beyoncé whispering.To fulfill any one of these incredibly reasonable requests, please contact @vicecanada.
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- An apology from Drake to the women of the world.
- For this type of dismissive behavior re: sexual assaults from Canadian Police to stop. It’s not about being a “good samaritan,” but rather a cry for “anyone with a fucking conscience” to step their game up.
- A 2-4 of Budweiser.
- Money.
- A nail polish shade that was not named by a man imitating what he thinks a successful, sassy business woman who doesn’t take any guff would say i.e. IRIS I WAS THINNER
- Signed photos of all our heroes (hint: some might be dead, one might be Tom Cochrane).
- The sweaty, Hudson’s Bay blanket turned tennis shirt fresh off the back of Canadian tennis superstar Milos Raonic.
- To know a ghost.
- A separate bunch of Ah Caramel!s.
- For the guy from The Weeknd to stop appropriating Tracy Chapman. She is an angel
- A tractor ride.
- For you not to make up any weird sexual connotations about our “tractor ride” request.
- For the Marshall amp refrigerator people to send us that goddamn fridge already.
- For Sun News, the controversial contemporary art collective, to use their power for good and help out with our “good samaritan” sexual abuse beef.
- Tickets to the musical Cats, now returning to Toronto.
- To know the sound of Beyoncé whispering.To fulfill any one of these incredibly reasonable requests, please contact @vicecanada.