Please, a Gold Medal For the Guy Who Figure Skated to "Turn Down For What"

The rules of the sport have changed, and now skaters can use music with lyrics in their routines. Ergo, Lil Jon.

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Jan 5 2018, 4:07pm

Image via @3lone on Twitter

Is there any song in the entire world that makes you feel more hyped than "Turn Down For What" by Lil Jon? "Turn Down For What" is hype bottled. Consider this: the starting point of "Turn Down For What" is an extreme level of hype—a hype mountain peak—because its chorus presumes that whoever is singing along to it is already super hype. That chorus' central question —'turn down for what?'—is not even actually a question: it's more just a weird, open-ended mantra that acts as a refusal to turn down as you scream it, eight beers deep, in the face of your boring roommate who is asking you to please lower the volume on "Turn Down For What," because it's Wednesday.

Now (I'm about to do a weird segue, but bear with me), recently the international body in charge of the sport of figure skating lifted their ban on songs with lyrics being used in figure skating competitions. The world, you'll understand, breathed a sigh of relief. And thus, it follows that "Turn Down For What" would be an instant choice for a figure skater planning a new routine. This is because even though you might think that figure skating is gentle and delicate and graceful, it's actually the most hype shit of all time. Figure skater Jimmy Ma, who competed yesterday in the short program at the United States Figure Skating Championship, demonstrates:

I hate online at the best of times, but occasionally (occasionally) it brings me joy like this and all is forgiven. Jimmy does not waste time getting started: the very first beats of his routine feature Lil Jon yelling, and from there it goes the fuck off. There are leaps, spins, and also this super good crouch spin thing, which ends the routine and sets off a million figurative explosions all around the venue. It's also good because the commentators are obviously perturbed, and therefore are indicative of why figure skating and other sports like it ought to be pulled into the 21st Century.

Speaking to USA Today after his event, Jimmy Ma discussed his song choice: “Figure skating is an extreme sport," he said. "I want the most amount of people to see that it is both an awesome art form and also an awesome sport. The whole point was to get people hyped. Get older people hyped and for younger people to think it is cool.”

See? Jimmy gets it. Where is his gold—nay, his platinum medal?

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