BREAKING NEWS: You Can't Be Both Fat and Fit

Can't believe I'm writing this. What the fuck is going on with the world?

by Joe Bish
May 17 2017, 1:56pm

(Photo: Tibor Végh, via)

I can't believe I'm typing these words. As journalists, we face plenty of shocks in our lives. We cover stories that explore the darkest facets of humanity. Famine, war, death, destruction, lives obliterated in the blink of an eye. We see things that make you want to tear your eyes out; that make you lose faith in your fellow man – but we must carry on, because without this information, without showing out bloodied hands to you and screaming "things must change!", how will we ever know peace?

But sometimes a story truly takes you aback. You shout "No! No, it can't be true!" at the screen, and read the lines over and over again, to the point that your vision begins to flicker and your eyelids become heavy. You want to shout but your throat is numb. I am the solemn messenger of this outrageous news, a muted Hermes, head bowed, delivering the parchment.

Here goes nothing. Deep breath. Keep it together.

According to a study of 3.5 million Brits, using 20 years worth of data, obesity puts you at a greater risk of heart diseases and strokes. I know, just let me finish.

WATCH: How to Make the World's Best Sandwich, with Action Bronson

As we know, there's such a thing as "metabolic health", which means even though your BMI (which is fairly widely known as something that is not completely reliable anyway) may be over the average, you can still be somewhat "fit". You can be obese and not have high blood pressure. We all know this; this is common knowledge.

However – and you might want to sit down for this – 50 percent of those obese people studied, even with the advantage of metabolic health, were more likely to contract heart diseases. Though the metabolic health does give one a step ahead, even when smoking was taken out of the equation, the likelihood was still 11 percent greater.

Dr Rishi Caleyachetty, a lead researcher at the college of medical and dental sciences at Birmingham, said: "Metabolically healthy obese individuals are at higher risk of coronary heart disease, cerebrovascular disease and heart failure than normal weight metabolically healthy individuals. The priority of health professionals should be to promote and facilitate weight loss among obese persons, regardless of the presence or absence of metabolic abnormalities."

I won't believe it. I can't believe it. I've read too many 3,000+ noted Tumblr posts saying that being fat is healthy. I've seen too many fat-positive photoshoots of nude plus-sized models covered in cake. Being fat… is bad for you? It's bad for your heart? Guys, I can't do this. You'll have to do VICE without me for a while. I need to go away and rethink some fundamentals. There I was thinking eating chocolate-covered pizzas was totally fine. Now I might die. Christ. I need some time. Please respect my privacy.


More from VICE:

The Crushing Depression of Morbid Obesity

Is Obesity a Psychological or Physical Problem?

Britain Is in Complete Denial About Its Obesity Problem

heart disease