The strangest moment in Post Malone's interview on The Breakfast Club this morning was not the one in which he professed his belief in a conspiracy theory about John F Kennedy's assassination. It wasn't his admission that he didn't vote or the part where he said he'd play Trump's inauguration if the price was right. In fact, even the moment when Charlamagne Tha God, seemingly at the end of his tether, told him he had a "Kid Rock-ish vibe" was tame. The most unhinged moment, in fact, was Malone's prelude to all this.
"People are so opinionated and people have way too much to say," Malone said, preparing to say all of his opinions out loud on a radio show heard by millions. "And everybody's so smart and everybody's a critic and everybody knows everything. If you don't know the situation, don't speak on it."
From there, Malone dived right in. He discussed the tattoo on his arm that depicts John F Kennedy, saying, "I think he was a real one. I think he was really the only President to speak out against the crazy corruption stuff that's going on in our government nowadays."
"Racism," Charlamagne suggested.
Not so much. "Weird stuff. JFK was killed by by us."
Charlamagne wouldn't let go, though. He mentioned the Civil Rights Act of 1964, legislation that, according to your high school history class and the type of historians who write books that are sold in stores, wouldn't have passed without Kennedy's leadership or Lyndon Johnson's ability to carry his legacy forward.
"I didn't know that," Malone responds, now apparently blacking out, knowing nothing the situation yet speaking on it loudly, unable to remember the words he said just minutes before. "I think he was a real guy. I think he was a real American and he loved this country and he spoke out and days later he died."
Let's read on:
Charlamagne: Why do you think he got killed? Because he spoke out?
Malone: Yeah. Literally days before he died he was talking about how our government focuses on corruption instead of Truth and all the things. There's a great speech where he goes back and forth between the negatives and what we should be focusing on. And days after that, he died.
There are any number of wild conspiracy websites that'll tell you about The Speech that REALLY Got JFK Killed and, given the events of the last few months, culminating in our collective inability to perceive absurdity, I'm not going to boost their goddamn clicks. But the idea is as simple as it is depressingly predictable: Kennedy called out the llluminati in a speech, the Illuminati got pissed, and Kennedy got killed as a result.
The speech was in fact given at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel on April 23 1961, more than two years before his assassination on November 22, 1963. And Kennedy's declaration that "we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies" and talk of "a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy" was, historians agree, a reference to Soviet communism and its threat to American institutions. But certain nerds on Reddit who think they'll survive the apocalypse because they still use flip phones tend to think that Kennedy was assassinated for telling the Truth about the Illuminati. Malone may not be all the way there, but he's at least flirting with a Bill Hicks level of Truth Telling.
There's plenty more from Malone here. He says that he didn't vote because "our votes are suggestions to the Electoral College. They can vote for who they want. It doesn't make any sense. This whole system's fucked." Here, he seems entranced by the notion of the "faithless electors" we've heard so much about this week, despite electoral college voters having never influenced an election one way or the other.
Charlamagne just goads him: "Tell me more. Because you're young and you've got a voice. I would like to know your thoughts on the current system."
"I think it's crazy," Malone responds. "I think that neither of our candidates were fit to be where they are. I feel like… I can't even get into this because… I feel like Bernie Sanders should have won. Because I think he was the realest one."
In response to all this, Malone essentially says that he'd play at Trump's inauguration if the price was right because, hey, it's just another show. "It doesn't make any sense," he says, "because if he was to say, 'Yo, I really like your music. Can you come and do a show?' Why would I get backlash because of someone booking me? If I do his show, does that mean I'm a supporter of him?"
Well, yes. Probably. The Breakfast Club crew say that he's spoouting nonsense, Malone says he must have missed something, and it's then that Charlamagne makes the Kid Rock comparison, suggesting that Malone's roots in hip hop could be considered in a similar light.
Post Malone is not Kid Rock. He's a young guy who's figuring shit out, trying to stop himself from saying anything dumb but unable to really hold back because, well, maybe his Facebook feed is just a nightmare. The moral of the story, then, is to do as Post Malone says, not as he does. "If you don't know the situation, don't speak on it."
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