I don't want to make justifications for it and I don't want to blame anyone. But the truth is I get bored. I need a lot of stimulation and I don't think it's fair to ask my partner to be there 24/7 when I'm in the mood. So I lie. I act like I've never even heard of the new Icelandic murder mystery that everyone's talking about, let alone seen every episode and have a dedicated Canadian subreddit devoted to conspiracy theories about what really happened in the fire that night. He doesn't need to know I recently started bingeing The Good Wife after years of avoiding it and you know what, I totally AM a Kalinda!
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In my defence I think it's healthy to have an open Netflix relationship. Even though according to a new survey from Netflix, 76 percent of Canadian couples who use the site would never binge behind their partner's backs, "watching ahead" has become a cultural necessity. Waiting for the right time, when you're both in the mood, could mean you wait days, even weeks before catching up to what can seem like the rest of the world on Stranger Things or Riverdale or whatever the fuck you feel obligated to know about now. And that's exactly where people cheat. The biggest temptations for couples are shows like The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad and Orange is the New Black.Morality has no place in the Netflix universe. Television monogamy is merely a construct of the patriarchy. Just kidding, but seriously don't tell me what to watch or when.That's not to say I think you should live completely separate lives. It's really important to have some foundational touchstones, some core shows you watch together, sacred, untouchable programming free from the distractions of the outside world. You know, your Game of Thrones—the stuff you'd too easily give away if you did cheat, something that allows you to be accountable. But by all means, get your kinks out on your own. Honestly, everyone's better off if you just stream that six-part forensic anthology by yourself.So go ahead, fuck other people! I mean, watch that new episode of The Walking Dead or whatever. Just accept that you might have to watch it twice and fake it the second time. But you're used to that.Follow Amil on Twitter.