Who Would Win in a Civil War: Leavers or Remainers?

Brexit negotiations grind interminably on, and still we appear to be no closer to any kind of deal. Understandably, various people have been calling for various things that they believe would improve the situation, and these various things fall mostly into two camps:

- A referendum on the terms of whatever deal we reach.
- An entirely new referendum on whether we even Brexit at all, or if we should just sack it off and not purposefully plunge the entire UK into almost certain disaster.

The latter is incredibly unlikely – Theresa May has already ruled it out. But imagine if it didn't happen. Leave voters wouldn't be very happy if someone stepped in to save the country, would they? No. Would they be annoyed enough for the country to devolve into civil war? No, probably not. But let's imagine for a minute if that did happen: who would win, Leavers or Remainers?

VICE: Hi Jasmine. Who do you think would win in this situation?
Jasmine: Probably Remainers, because they own all the capital, like all the markets. Like, they're basically a government, whereas everyone else will be deported or it will be like a racial outbreak. Which is probably where this country's going. It's going more towards America.

What are your thoughts on the current Brexit situation?
Honestly, I really don't know if anyone knows what's going on, except the people who are doing the contracts. I think Theresa May is being a bit of a messy bitch; she's out here being a meme, whereas what we actually need her to do is be a politician. I don't think she’s meeting the demands of the people, especially because there are so many different people. It's just fitting, like, one criteria of a white, mildly supremacist fitting character.

Hello Neil. What do you reckon: Remainers or Leavers?
Neil: I wouldn't hope for a war to break out between them. I think the people who chose to exit should have their own vote.

What do you make of the situation as it stands?
Well, it's very difficult to understand what's going on, because so many changes have happened. I mean, it doesn't affect me now, because I'm retired, but I used to be a hotel manager, and it would have affected me. I'm thinking about people who are in that position now.

And the best outcome would be?
Well, I would like to see some more control over laws – that's one thing I disagreed with. And the other thing I would say is immigration, because it does affect people who work, if other people take their jobs. Industry-wise, I think we could hold our own with anybody.

Hi Neha, who would win?
Neha: Umm… it's really not something I've ever thought about! I would like to hope Remain, and I would like to hope there won't be a war.

What are your general thoughts on what's going on with the Brexit negotations?
Err, they have no clue what they're doing, which – not to say I have any clue where it should go, but it's quite obvious that we should remain, and it's quite obvious the government has no clue what they're doing, which is why all the back and forth… and why we have no decision yet .

Why is it obvious that we should remain?
It's simple: it's better to be together. I mean, this whole thing about going back to the imperialistic times when things were better, yes, but that was however many hundreds of years ago – things have changed, we live in a modern world, we live in a global world where capitalism reigns, where free markets reign. The issues in the world right now are global… like climate change, nobody will be able to solve that. The way we can solve global problems is by staying together.

And in an ideal world, what would you like to happen?
I'd like everything to just be erased, just go back to being in the EU and this never having happened, that would be brilliant.

Hi Daniel. Who's it going to be?
Daniel: Err, Remainers… there are more of them, I think, now.

What are your general thoughts on Brexit?
It's a huge mistake. All the people who voted to leave just got tricked, and now many of them realise they were tricked, I think, and with another referendum I think we'd remain in the EU.

How would you like to see things pan out?
I think the ideal thing would be to pretend that we left the EU, but in reality not [leave], so we keep Brexit people happy.

Who would win, Olly?
Olly: I would say remain, just because I think now it's swung to a majority of remain voters, so just purely on numbers.

Can you make out where we currently stand?
I think it's getting quite dangerous with the borders of Ireland – I think that's a big focal point, and also just the political uncertainty that it's created. It's a difficult situation, because what's happened is that a Prime Minister's come in and, she wasn't in a position, really, going into it, to deal with the situation, and now she's kind of learning on the job. I think, basically, we were told a dream that wasn't really going to happen.

Your dream solution?
I don't think we can really back out now, and I think if we did we would look very weak within international politics… so therefore I guess it's soft Brexit, where we continue trading with the EU. Maybe if we could create a strong deal with other countries as well, that would probably be the best possible outcome… to look at Asian markets, American markets and also keep free movement, otherwise I won't be able to go on holiday! Also, working abroad is something I'm potentially going to do.

Hello Karrie, if something radical like this were to happen, who would you like to see win?
Karrie: The Remainers should win, but the fight might be a little bit more aggressive from the Leavers.

Explain.
Well, I think they must feel a bit entrenched – people were lied to, and now we're in a situation which is poorly managed, with probably quite poor outcomes for a lot of us. And people are going to feel very cheated. It's a very unjust situation. Without being given clear information at the beginning, we weren't really voting on a thing – [it was based on] how people felt.

What do you makes of the situation as it stands?
Sad. We're in a bad place. People aren't reacting intelligently or honestly, and I find it depressing. This is one of the most important things that has happened in decades. The Labour party is not being responsible… it's being inactive, passive, slightly just waiting for the whole thing to unravel perhaps, being distracted by the anti-semitic babble that's been going on. I find it saddening that we don't have a vibrant, intelligent, responsible Labour party to stand and fight our corner.

And your best outcome would be…
From this point now, I think possibly a second referendum, with a clear, understandable— if we vote yes, we do this, which is accurate and not lies, so that we're clear. It needs to be A or B, in or out, so that I can make my decision based on information as opposed to mis -information on the side of buses about the £150 million, or whatever it was, that we're meant to be giving to the NHS.

Hello Toby, who would win?
Toby: WHAT?! A war? It would be a draw, because they're split evenly down the middle. Even though some people might have changed their minds about Brexit, there's no reason why people might not have changed their minds in both directions. You can’t just say that because the whole thing has been a mess, there's no reason why it could go either way.

What do you think of what's happening currently?
I think it's a disaster for everybody concerned, and it's more important now that we make a decision one way or the other, rather than to just carry on in limbo not doing anything. I obviously would rather have remained, but now whatever we're going to do we just need to get on with it.

And your ideal outcome would look like…
I don't think there is an ideal outcome anymore. I think that if we can get some, if we can manage to still have a relationship with Europe afterwards, that would be a great thing.