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The Best of MLB's Players Weekend Nicknames

Among the best nicknames: Harrison Bader "Tots," Joey "Pico de" Gallo, Shane "Not Justin" Bieber, and Brad Boxberger's will blow you away.
Brad Boxberger emojis via mlbshop.com

Starting last year, Major League Baseball took a tiny splinter out of its ass and came up with an idea to let players have a little bit of fun. During Players Weekend—August 24-26—MLB will once again roll out some fun uniforms, along with player-chosen nicknames that are just a little bit wacky. Like rosé on a Tuesday, it's fun, it's crazy, why not?

There's quite the range, and clearly, when there's some kind of league-wide coordinated effort, some are going to slay a bit more than others. You can check them all out here, but I'm partial to the Orioles, Nationals, Indians, Cardinals and Astros jerseys. The Reds one is pretty clean, too, along with the A's.

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Now, on to the nicknames:

Wow, those are some bangers. Clearly, the real true winner is Brad Boxberger, who will be the first player to ever have only emojis featured on the back of his jersey. Let's just take a look at the whole thing thrown together, shall we?

That just rules.

Here are a few others from the best of the bunch:

That's Josh Phegley's "Player to Be Named Later," which he came up with last year because he was having trouble settling on a nickname and felt this pretty aptly described the kind of player he is.

Hunter Pence's is just wonderful:

(Still not getting it? Just try saying his name real fast.)

Jason Kipnis, everybody:

Joey "Pico de" Gallo:

Shane Bieber's getting sick of the comparisons:

And Harrison Bader might have been stealing the show, were it nor for Boxberger:

And for the most random nickname among the crowd:

Way to get obscure, Joey Votto. I'm positive that no one has ever called you that.

Either way, this is going to be a fun weekend—at least for whoever profits most from these jersey sales (some are already selling out). Much respect to the people making them.